Review Detail of OppressedBeans in The Third Party

Fouth wall breaks are everywhere and annoying, definitions on whats happening is excessive but only non useful info that we dont need. Keeps putting stuff like *slaps his forehead* which is really annoying and unnecessary you dont need to put the star signs and you dont need to keep making the characters actions over excessive and skips important info like what happen when kin fell in chap 5, you also skipped alot about the characters and their personalities. Also you could just write it like this. Ken was talking to the white ball, when suddenly his parents walked into his room. But soon Ken realized that his parents couldnt see the white ball of light and immediately calmed down. He then asked the ball of light “They can’t see you?” the ball of light then replied “ Yes, your are the only one who can see me.” Ken was surprised by this and soon became curious as to how. Or Ken then spotted a light in the distance and realized it was the same kind of light he saw when he first met Will, Ken then realized that it was another important character and became excited. When Ken made it to the character and realized it was a girl and injured he became worried, so he and his father who was also running beside him helped the girl back to his house via teleportation along side Will.