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Ice_Princesss
Ice_PrincesssLv43yr
2021-10-02 02:56

The story has a lot of potential and I must say I enjoyed reading the first few chapters. There is little to no errors in grammar or spelling so it shows that you really paid attention to that. Keep up the good work [img=recommend]

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Akira_Monadelle
Akira_MonadelleLv13

I greatly admire this author's creativity. The writer's intentions are clear and the novel has a solid plot. The plot is common in anime and comics but the writer managed to make it very interesting. However, the story is greatly flawed and plagued by errors from all aspects of English. Grammar, punctuation and capitalization could use some serious work. Majority of the sentences and names started with common letters and words that were supposed to start with common letters started with capital letters. Person's names, names of places and sentences should begin with capital letters. The sentences were poorly structured and most of them were run-on sentences. Punctuation marks, especially the comma was misused and end marks were not used at the end of some sentences.When they were used, they were used incorrectly. For example, some questions ended with full stop. The dialogue in the novel seems a bit too artificial, there were no emotion behind the words and the conversations just didn't come across as realistic. The story flowed but it was very confusing. The author went from thing to another messily without proper transitions. The wording of some sentences made things even more confusing. It was as if some sentences were missing some words or had the wrong words. I recommend that the author use Grammarly or Proofreader when writing to get rid of most of the errors. Overall, the novel has a lot of potential and the author has a very active imagination. The errors are the only draw back since the plot is pretty solid. I hope the author can only get better as they write. [img=recommend]

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