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Takeya_Harumi
Takeya_HarumiLv64yr
2020-10-23 10:51

Not gonna lie, this fanfic is disappointing. Nevermind the fact that you can skip the First 5 or so chapters, there’s barely any development after each chapter as well. The MC needs to be flesh out more and interact with other characters In the story. The system is pretty much rubbish and the reward are too spontaneous with obviously little to no thought put into it. This might sound harsh but just take it as constructive criticism. I hope you continue writing and not be discourage. See ya! P.s. read the comment regarding your grammar. It might help ;)

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