Review Detail of AxlSLL in The Prophetress

It is an interesting plot and relatively refreshing, you make it feel immersive, and like the scene is happening in the present moment. The main character has a peculiar personality and that's very good. However, there are many mistakes you've done that you need to work on. The major flaw is in your grammar. The way you switch grammatical tenses makes it tedious to read at. Stick with only one. The lack of commas is another problem. If I was reading it out loud I'd be out of air before I finished reading most sentences. Sometimes you miss quotation marks, and you put two different dialogues in the same paragraph. Fix this. You lack a variety of words. That's not necessarily a problem, but if you're going to put "I watched" three times in the same paragraph, the result is going to be tiresome and dull. Use different words or try to express it in another way. You often use double negatives. It's alright if you put in inside dialogues, as some people indeed talk like that. But don't abuse it. The less the better. Otherwise, your story has a good, interesting plot and flows in a good direction. But you need to fix these mistakes and try to not commit them again. Keep working on it.