Review Detail of Chitawulf in Patient's curse and within

I really love how you dive right into the action. Your writing style is very action-based, there are a lot of vivid and powerful verbs and sensory image that you use that really keep the momentum going and the atmosphere intact. I really like how thoughts are italicized. However, the book is hard to read because you don't insert line breaks during dialogue and during key moments, which breaks the flow a little. Having very short paragraphs with a few words is a very effective way to keep tension. Try this: The flash of scattering heat filled the place and tormented the flesh of two people agonizing in pain, screaming and desperately crawling to get out. Beep beep beep beep. The annoying sound of the alarm clock buzzed to her ears which made her jump and gasp for air. Also, whenever a character says something, insert a line break/make a new paragraph. Other than that, spectacular work!