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ViniDrako23
ViniDrako23Lv44yr
2020-10-18 08:53

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Other Reviews
Alexandre_M
Alexandre_MLv1

At the time of this review, there were only three chapters. I can say that it is a story that promises a lot. It is not a self-insertion, or reincarnation, which on the one hand is good, as it allows the author to make use of the original script, without worrying about the butterfly effect, and to focus more on the dialogues. And if there were no good dialogues, then I would say that this story would not be worth it, after all the author will probably repeat the original events. However, there is a good dialogue and it is quite fluid. Honestly, I would prefer him to have a relationship with Isami, rather than Korra, but this is just personal taste, and taste is not in dispute. Unfortunately, there is a possibility that the author gives Mc two folds, the earth element and the air element. Be it the pressure of some idiotic readers who insist that Mc needs to be all-powerful for some reason, or because of the author's own bad taste, that he might think it's a good idea to do things like that. Well, about that, I would like to say a few things. And I hope the author reads it. And that I can make him reflect, if he has not yet made a firm decision on the matter. (If he has already decided that he will have both folds, then it won't do any good, but I tried.) Please don't destroy your story so that Mc can manipulate two different elements. Every time a fanfic author does this, it is as if he says "screw the meaning and logic of this universe, I will do whatever I want". Of course, as an author, you can do it, but at the same time, you are deconstructing any connection we have with the original avatar story. I prefer a thousand times that Mc creates a new sub-fold based on his knowledge of air bending, for example: o the dust element of Onoki (in Naruto) Explaining how it would work: It controls small particles of earth, transforming them into geometric shapes, while using the dust to trap the air inside it, so it manages to stir the molecules, heating them until they create combustion, by using the pressed oxygen. This would make Mc stand out for his pure talent, while not challenging the logic of that world. Keep up the good work.

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