Review Detail of SnowRose in In Naruto: Reborn with Talent
Review detail
First 8 chapters were 5/5 with only issue being writing quality which is an easy fix with some effort. However, from chapter 9 (ironically titled ‘Mistake?’) things start going downhill. The MC holds three ‘Talents’. -Godly Nature Affinity -Godly Sealing Affinity -Supreme Chakra Control He starts in Ame and meets Konan. Their relationship is sweet and it progresses to the point i felt adding another girl would be a sin and potentially ruin the story as their ‘bond’ honesty was amazing and the author did well to convey it. A girl who used paper to fight, and a seal master who added to her arsenal. They formed a very powerful combo when together. Yet on chapter 9 the author decided to ‘merge souls’ between MC and Konan. This gave Konan the MC’s three talents (though to a slightly weaker extent). The MC didnt really get anything unique from her though. Tbh i wouldnt want the MC having her paper control as like he said it would take away from her character, yet he seems to not realize he just did the same thing to his MC. The person who is meant to lead the story as we follow along, now became like a side character. If this was a one off thing than i could ignore it and move on but it seems the author plans to form links with all the girls the MC ‘collects’ which causes two problems in the story for many readers. 1.) MC is loosing his unique attributes and the story as a whole becomes less enjoyable to read knowing the ‘side characters’ are more entertaining than the main character. 2.) The whole ‘bond’ he had going with Konan feels like a slap in the face to readers knowing he will just try to collect more girls. Thats an issue that crops up in generic harem novels is, the genuine connection and love between two people can often come off as ‘less’ or ‘forced’. Chapters 1-8 did well to get the reader connected to Konan and her bond witn MC, yet now it just feels like shes just a part of his ‘collection’. Either way, thats my opinion which i am intitled to have :)
In Naruto: Reborn with Talent
KasiCair
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I will say only one thing to this... . Thank you for actually EXPLAINING how it felt to you, instead of spamming 'trash' all over the reviews. I don't really mind bad reviews but I have when id*ots just spam nonsense. I very much like when someone points out how it felt for him/her to read the story, even if the evaluation is not 'YOU ARE GOD!' kind of thing. :D. I would also like to ask you to put this review under a spoiler button because this is a very big reveal... . Now I will say my opinion: Well, this is a learning process for me too. To be honest, I like harem stories which is why I write them. But I also dislike when MC just collects tens of women and then just stashes them away in some dimension for them to rot and it is explained they are doing 'their' things. I personally want to avoid that in my stories and will try to get enough 'screen time' to every partner of my MC, hence why the harem will be small-ish. Understand that if I made the bond more 'bland' which would make the harem acceptable, it would be no better than just... collecting a doll. I wanted MC to have a proper bond with his partners (dunno if I manage with others yet tho) and Konan is the VERY FIRST, the foundation for it. She will be the glue that will hold it all together. If it takes from your enjoyment, I am sorry. If you find yourself interested when this story reaches the stage where more harem members join, then give me your opinion again, please. And for the uniqueness of MC... I already said in a few comments for reviews, I never stated what a watered-down version is. I will spoil a bit here: Konan will not become a seal mistress. She was shit at seals before and now she is still shit at seals. Her talent will be solely in making explosive seals and she will be able to do some simple seals. That's it. I plan to limit what she can do with other talents too. I did so because I didn't want to make MC into a seal-factory for her and I have plans with the nature attunement later on. The same will go for the other girls. They WON'T be able to do the things MC does. Not really. MC will gain some 'uniqueness' along the road but it will be something HE discovered and HE got for himself. NOT some talents he got from TUFAP (NOT A GOD). Sure, these will help him and his girls but their uniqueness will be their own thing. MC was a blank character at the start. Konan was already developed. We knew where her path would lead her and her general skills. I could just go with MC's talents and make him abuse them to their extremities but why should I? I want him to find something for himself. Something that will be his own unique way of using chakra and nature energy for fighting. Talents are just a crutch to get there and make things easier. At least, that's my way of looking at it and my plans for this story.
KasiCair:I will say only one thing to this... . Thank you for actually EXPLAINING how it felt to you, instead of spamming 'trash' all over the reviews. I don't really mind bad reviews but I have when id*ots just spam nonsense. I very much like when someone points out how it felt for him/her to read the story, even if the evaluation is not 'YOU ARE GOD!' kind of thing. :D. I would also like to ask you to put this review under a spoiler button because this is a very big reveal... . Now I will say my opinion: Well, this is a learning process for me too. To be honest, I like harem stories which is why I write them. But I also dislike when MC just collects tens of women and then just stashes them away in some dimension for them to rot and it is explained they are doing 'their' things. I personally want to avoid that in my stories and will try to get enough 'screen time' to every partner of my MC, hence why the harem will be small-ish. Understand that if I made the bond more 'bland' which would make the harem acceptable, it would be no better than just... collecting a doll. I wanted MC to have a proper bond with his partners (dunno if I manage with others yet tho) and Konan is the VERY FIRST, the foundation for it. She will be the glue that will hold it all together. If it takes from your enjoyment, I am sorry. If you find yourself interested when this story reaches the stage where more harem members join, then give me your opinion again, please. And for the uniqueness of MC... I already said in a few comments for reviews, I never stated what a watered-down version is. I will spoil a bit here: Konan will not become a seal mistress. She was shit at seals before and now she is still shit at seals. Her talent will be solely in making explosive seals and she will be able to do some simple seals. That's it. I plan to limit what she can do with other talents too. I did so because I didn't want to make MC into a seal-factory for her and I have plans with the nature attunement later on. The same will go for the other girls. They WON'T be able to do the things MC does. Not really. MC will gain some 'uniqueness' along the road but it will be something HE discovered and HE got for himself. NOT some talents he got from TUFAP (NOT A GOD). Sure, these will help him and his girls but their uniqueness will be their own thing. MC was a blank character at the start. Konan was already developed. We knew where her path would lead her and her general skills. I could just go with MC's talents and make him abuse them to their extremities but why should I? I want him to find something for himself. Something that will be his own unique way of using chakra and nature energy for fighting. Talents are just a crutch to get there and make things easier. At least, that's my way of looking at it and my plans for this story.
Well now that i know your point i kinda understand just maybe its to early i really like the sould bound thingy i just hope that you can make it more dangerous i think or hard to activate again in konnan case its great in my opinion and if remember it right its happen by accident (i dont know why they hate it) they grew up together and konnan is there when the mc is still trying to survive the world The only thing that i feel of in this novel is that the other character become too dimb even though they are not part of the main plot it become easy to notice who is going to be a villain and whose the next gurl to target Im looking forward to know what jappened to yahiko and pain without konnan
KasiCair:I will say only one thing to this... . Thank you for actually EXPLAINING how it felt to you, instead of spamming 'trash' all over the reviews. I don't really mind bad reviews but I have when id*ots just spam nonsense. I very much like when someone points out how it felt for him/her to read the story, even if the evaluation is not 'YOU ARE GOD!' kind of thing. :D. I would also like to ask you to put this review under a spoiler button because this is a very big reveal... . Now I will say my opinion: Well, this is a learning process for me too. To be honest, I like harem stories which is why I write them. But I also dislike when MC just collects tens of women and then just stashes them away in some dimension for them to rot and it is explained they are doing 'their' things. I personally want to avoid that in my stories and will try to get enough 'screen time' to every partner of my MC, hence why the harem will be small-ish. Understand that if I made the bond more 'bland' which would make the harem acceptable, it would be no better than just... collecting a doll. I wanted MC to have a proper bond with his partners (dunno if I manage with others yet tho) and Konan is the VERY FIRST, the foundation for it. She will be the glue that will hold it all together. If it takes from your enjoyment, I am sorry. If you find yourself interested when this story reaches the stage where more harem members join, then give me your opinion again, please. And for the uniqueness of MC... I already said in a few comments for reviews, I never stated what a watered-down version is. I will spoil a bit here: Konan will not become a seal mistress. She was shit at seals before and now she is still shit at seals. Her talent will be solely in making explosive seals and she will be able to do some simple seals. That's it. I plan to limit what she can do with other talents too. I did so because I didn't want to make MC into a seal-factory for her and I have plans with the nature attunement later on. The same will go for the other girls. They WON'T be able to do the things MC does. Not really. MC will gain some 'uniqueness' along the road but it will be something HE discovered and HE got for himself. NOT some talents he got from TUFAP (NOT A GOD). Sure, these will help him and his girls but their uniqueness will be their own thing. MC was a blank character at the start. Konan was already developed. We knew where her path would lead her and her general skills. I could just go with MC's talents and make him abuse them to their extremities but why should I? I want him to find something for himself. Something that will be his own unique way of using chakra and nature energy for fighting. Talents are just a crutch to get there and make things easier. At least, that's my way of looking at it and my plans for this story.