Review Detail of Jimpaly in Spirit Orbs : Chronicles of Ra'as

First of all, I’m going to point out that this story is around 70% action and 30% mystery. If you’re looking for action-packed scenes and descriptive fights, then this story’s for you. Other than that, I love the world-building you did in the beginning and as the story continues. The plot is eventful and interesting, but it feels like a lot of the mystery is already spoiled since it tells you who the bad guy is (but idk there might be more to the story that hadn’t been revealed yet). The supernatural abilities are placed well in the combat, though it might be nice to see them used outside of fights. The characters have nice interactions and there is a strong female lead, but you could give them clearer and more distinct personalities. The major issue is probably that you should work on your punctuation, sentencing, and paragraphing. Your word choice is great but there’s a lot you can improve. But overall, I love where the story’s going and I can’t wait for more!