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Review Detail of amaturewriter in The Bloody Falcon

Review detail

amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv42mthamaturewriter

1- wishing for good looks is retarded. why waste a wish? 2- Author, cannon fked, U cant be someone so significant and think cannon will happen. MC is son of jon, a major player, cannon is gone. it might be fked to the point where robert and ned are gay for each other. Ur cannon knowledge is worthless. 3-The house MC choose is kinda bad, they aint rich or that powerful. Also since u choose and think cannon happens, vale had a messed up system cause of the mountain tribes. 4-What MC choose is hax, its heavily neutered but combined with his SI future and fictional knowledge the hax is still there. Why cant MC use this to better looker and create a magical super serum? it is the library of heavens path, or what it is. TBH, i am very interested in ur bk, cause this is the second of its kind, the first was dropped, but I kinda lost hope cause of the reasons 1 and 2. will read but eh.. . .................................................

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The Bloody Falcon

John_sins1

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Replies23

Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

I'm going to answer because it seems to me that your review was a little unjustified and has no arguments to back it up, maybe to say that the mc desire to be attractive is a little wrong on the part of the author, it seems to me that what he really meant was charismatic which is a very needed trait in a medieval culture to be a valuable commander, besides there is no absolutely perfect kingdom. The valley has potential, a very favorable natural defense the eagle's nest is probably the easiest defensible fortress in Westeros and the most difficult to invade, an army of veterans thanks to the fights with the mountain tribes, in addition to its culture of knights that encourages the rigorous training of possible commanders, the valley has a great economic potential its food trade is only inferior to that of the high garden. About the wishes are perfect for a balance between a powerful Mc and one that does not destroy the original narrative of Game of thrones the super soldier serum that gives the physical of a superior warrior from body to body, the charisma of a leader and a commander for the good management of time and the restricted library to have the right knowledge of a medieval culture which again prevents the destruction of the narrative of the original history which makes this fanfic can preserve the essence of Game of thrones and not become one of those stories with 7 year old children with ***** bodies that control the world.

John_sins1
John_sins1AuthorJohn_sins1

I appreciate the review, the reason i chose the good looks is because the MC is aware that charisma is one of if not the most important characteristics in being a leader. The reason why Robert Baratheon and Rhaegar are so famous and widely know is their strength and charisma. Robert was a piss poor lord but his charisma was so great that it carried him to the iron throne. Therefore the MC wants to ensure he has that advantage, so he can cultivate a cult of persona around him. This is standard psychological methodology to ensure people follow you. I disagree that canon is ****ed, Aerys will still be insane, Rhaegar will still be obsessed with prophecy, the creation of an heir in the Vale won’t impact much, Rob and Ned are still best mates they just have a younger brother/friend now. Yes the MC has chosen some hax, but this nerfed version of the LoHP only has medieval knowledge in it, not modern and fantasy stuff like the supersoldier serum in. I explained the functions of the library in the first chapter. It isnt some system to buy beauty potions in or serums.

mistro_mar
mistro_marLv3mistro_mar

Meh, I personally like it already honestly. Plus, this IS a fanfic, so I dont think it really matters if the canon is still the same, as long as things and events are logically done. But hey, it is your choice.

Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

Besides, most of the plot until the end of the rebellion has nothing to do with the valley so the plot until the beginning of the rebellion while the Mc does not interfere will remain the same.

amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

he has a hax. he can use magic and that to be good looking, wishing for it is waste, plus he asked for a super soldier serum...look what it did to captain America

Jccr:I'm going to answer because it seems to me that your review was a little unjustified and has no arguments to back it up, maybe to say that the mc desire to be attractive is a little wrong on the part of the author, it seems to me that what he really meant was charismatic which is a very needed trait in a medieval culture to be a valuable commander, besides there is no absolutely perfect kingdom. The valley has potential, a very favorable natural defense the eagle's nest is probably the easiest defensible fortress in Westeros and the most difficult to invade, an army of veterans thanks to the fights with the mountain tribes, in addition to its culture of knights that encourages the rigorous training of possible commanders, the valley has a great economic potential its food trade is only inferior to that of the high garden. About the wishes are perfect for a balance between a powerful Mc and one that does not destroy the original narrative of Game of thrones the super soldier serum that gives the physical of a superior warrior from body to body, the charisma of a leader and a commander for the good management of time and the restricted library to have the right knowledge of a medieval culture which again prevents the destruction of the narrative of the original history which makes this fanfic can preserve the essence of Game of thrones and not become one of those stories with 7 year old children with ***** bodies that control the world.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

he is the son of jon, a person who was very important to robert and ned, 2 people who more or less created cannon. his interactions with them will happen and anything with them will shape cannon

Jccr:Besides, most of the plot until the end of the rebellion has nothing to do with the valley so the plot until the beginning of the rebellion while the Mc does not interfere will remain the same.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

look I like ur bk, latest chp make me like. but I accept ur points, but I still stand by what I said. -MC wished for SS serum, do remember what it did the captain America? wishing for goodlks is worthless. Charisma, etc all obtained. could've wished for magic, warg ability, animal talking,etc. -MC hax, look lets agree that its stupid OP, MC can more or less learn anything to a master lvl, almost instant or barely time takes, thats OP. -Ned and robert, MC will interact with em , he can just fk up cannon by teaching and make em better people or something. Peter beylish, ned, stark are the ones that created cannon, peter especially. I am not telling u what to do, telling u work is shit [ it not, plus despite what I say I like it ] ...just saying my thoughts

John_sins1:I appreciate the review, the reason i chose the good looks is because the MC is aware that charisma is one of if not the most important characteristics in being a leader. The reason why Robert Baratheon and Rhaegar are so famous and widely know is their strength and charisma. Robert was a piss poor lord but his charisma was so great that it carried him to the iron throne. Therefore the MC wants to ensure he has that advantage, so he can cultivate a cult of persona around him. This is standard psychological methodology to ensure people follow you. I disagree that canon is ****ed, Aerys will still be insane, Rhaegar will still be obsessed with prophecy, the creation of an heir in the Vale won’t impact much, Rob and Ned are still best mates they just have a younger brother/friend now. Yes the MC has chosen some hax, but this nerfed version of the LoHP only has medieval knowledge in it, not modern and fantasy stuff like the supersoldier serum in. I explained the functions of the library in the first chapter. It isnt some system to buy beauty potions in or serums.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

MC interacts with peter , ned and robert. Seeing what he did in C3 with peter cannon is dead. peter created cannon. along with robert and ned

Jccr:Besides, most of the plot until the end of the rebellion has nothing to do with the valley so the plot until the beginning of the rebellion while the Mc does not interfere will remain the same.
Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

But the main cause of the rebellion is Raeghar's escape with Lyanna which if the mc doesn't do anything will happen anyway as it is a medieval world if or if Brandon and Ned's father have to go to the capital to ask for explanations and the crazy king didn't care why they went to the capital.

amaturewriter:MC interacts with peter , ned and robert. Seeing what he did in C3 with peter cannon is dead. peter created cannon. along with robert and ned
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

dude. u are ignoring the fact that MC can interact with robert and make him lose interest of lynna or just prevent the entire using his brains and HAX. and forget this. PETER ....that dude more or less fked and began the wars.

Jccr:But the main cause of the rebellion is Raeghar's escape with Lyanna which if the mc doesn't do anything will happen anyway as it is a medieval world if or if Brandon and Ned's father have to go to the capital to ask for explanations and the crazy king didn't care why they went to the capital.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

u speak as though cannon will happen indigently despite all the shit MC has done, and all the things he can do to prevent cannon. I mean u read C3? also, he can just kill or reygar using his hax . so yah

Jccr:But the main cause of the rebellion is Raeghar's escape with Lyanna which if the mc doesn't do anything will happen anyway as it is a medieval world if or if Brandon and Ned's father have to go to the capital to ask for explanations and the crazy king didn't care why they went to the capital.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

all ur arguments are invalid, u just think cannon will happen even after all the shit MC did, and all the things he can do to prevent cannon

Jccr:But the main cause of the rebellion is Raeghar's escape with Lyanna which if the mc doesn't do anything will happen anyway as it is a medieval world if or if Brandon and Ned's father have to go to the capital to ask for explanations and the crazy king didn't care why they went to the capital.
Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

Nowhere does it say that it can do magic if I am not mistaken, and if you doubt what it can do with the serum I recommend that you read the great lion and game of thrones: the prideful one both mc have the serum and are very good stories.

amaturewriter:he has a hax. he can use magic and that to be good looking, wishing for it is waste, plus he asked for a super soldier serum...look what it did to captain America
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

forget magic. and ignore this. my points still stands

Jccr:Nowhere does it say that it can do magic if I am not mistaken, and if you doubt what it can do with the serum I recommend that you read the great lion and game of thrones: the prideful one both mc have the serum and are very good stories.
Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

I understand what you are saying I am only saying what the author wrote that he is interested in the rebellion happening so I guess he (mc) will make sure at least not to interfere more than his very existence does, plus if Brandon and Ricardo are burned a rebellion will start if or when.

amaturewriter:dude. u are ignoring the fact that MC can interact with robert and make him lose interest of lynna or just prevent the entire using his brains and HAX. and forget this. PETER ....that dude more or less fked and began the wars.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

thats my point, MC has SI knowledge, and seeing how he removed peter it wont happen. BUT even if it does. MC can just use SI knowledge to protect and prevent the shit that happened to starks.

Jccr:I understand what you are saying I am only saying what the author wrote that he is interested in the rebellion happening so I guess he (mc) will make sure at least not to interfere more than his very existence does, plus if Brandon and Ricardo are burned a rebellion will start if or when.
Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

The mc has not eliminated Peter, it has eliminated Peter's future as master of coins and controller of the valley which happens after Jon marries Lysa which happens after the rebellion and therefore the Peter who without any position was one of the causes of the rebellion is still there, On the other hand what happened to the Starks is something almost indispensable to make the Rebellion more legitimate, therefore the mc should not do anything, obviously if what the author is looking for is a more ruthless mc that seeks to gain influence at the expense of others as a Twin Lannister.

amaturewriter:thats my point, MC has SI knowledge, and seeing how he removed peter it wont happen. BUT even if it does. MC can just use SI knowledge to protect and prevent the shit that happened to starks.
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4amaturewriter

MC can prevent all this. ur basis is all assumptions and belief that cannon happens despite what happens, I am not making assumptions. MC has knowledge and HAX and connections [ned and robert], he can easily prevent the war, by just saving neds parent and bro. peter being ' removed 'is a major thing, cannon is screwed, cause of all the things that wont happen because peter is ' removed '. peters interactions with tullys was a key point that dost happens, related to ned and peter, plus peter begins his self crusade for the next decades. ur points is invalid cause u assume cannon happens even after all this dose. I can explain more but its pointless and waste of time cause u'd still say cannon happens and ignore any changes MC does and their effects. So i am out. peace.

Jccr:The mc has not eliminated Peter, it has eliminated Peter's future as master of coins and controller of the valley which happens after Jon marries Lysa which happens after the rebellion and therefore the Peter who without any position was one of the causes of the rebellion is still there, On the other hand what happened to the Starks is something almost indispensable to make the Rebellion more legitimate, therefore the mc should not do anything, obviously if what the author is looking for is a more ruthless mc that seeks to gain influence at the expense of others as a Twin Lannister.
Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

No, what I'm saying is that as long as the mc doesn't interfere and let things take their course, the things that started the rebellion are still there, Robert and his obsession with Lyanna, Raeghar with his obsession with prophecy, Peter defeated by Brandon humiliated who seeks revenge and a way to stay with Cat and the increasingly unstable crazy king who can burn Brandon and Rikard for any reason, for all these reasons and on the condition that the mc wants things to take their course a rebellion perhaps not equal to the canon will happen.

amaturewriter:u speak as though cannon will happen indigently despite all the shit MC has done, and all the things he can do to prevent cannon. I mean u read C3? also, he can just kill or reygar using his hax . so yah
Jccr
JccrLv4Jccr

It doesn't take away from what you say, but you are "supposing" that the MC is willing or just wants to stop things from happening, while it is clearly said in one chapter that the MC wants the rebellion to happen the point is whether the MC uses his capabilities to stop things but for now until the last chapter the MC intends for the rebellion to break out.

amaturewriter:MC can prevent all this. ur basis is all assumptions and belief that cannon happens despite what happens, I am not making assumptions. MC has knowledge and HAX and connections [ned and robert], he can easily prevent the war, by just saving neds parent and bro. peter being ' removed 'is a major thing, cannon is screwed, cause of all the things that wont happen because peter is ' removed '. peters interactions with tullys was a key point that dost happens, related to ned and peter, plus peter begins his self crusade for the next decades. ur points is invalid cause u assume cannon happens even after all this dose. I can explain more but its pointless and waste of time cause u'd still say cannon happens and ignore any changes MC does and their effects. So i am out. peace.