webnovel
OD_NM
OD_NMLv153yr
2021-03-01 02:51

I'm at chap 100 and I really like the novel so far. The plot, the story background, the characters, everthing is quite good. However, there's a thing about the story that I really dislike which is the age of the characters. I mean... having an infant fighting a bunch of bad guys is not very realistic, at least physically. I get that author already explain that mages mature really quick, but I still find it quite absurd for little children 2-4 years old to have the capabilities to fight not just commoners but other mages too. You could just add more time skips and get the story to officially start when the MC is about at least 8 yo or so, fighting bad guys at 8 yo is already a very fa growth spurt for me. The fight scenes are actually pretty good if I ignore the age.

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NakedApron
NakedApronAuthor

Yeah, I'm def thinking of nudging the age by a few years.

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NakedApron
NakedApronAuthor

Author-special-five-star-review!!! Version 3!!! (Probably final version) Thanks a lot, to everyone who’s taking their time to read through all my stuff. I really don't know why I thought it was a good idea to put a suicide scene in my synopsis… It not like it’s a story defining scene in the novel or anything either, it’s just a part of a side-story that I love very dearly. Layla Pog T_T Anyway, in this review, I’ll try to explain my story and why you should read it. And just like how the review system works, I’ll divide this review into four parts (Writing quality, Story, Characters and World-building) and give my thought process on them. Writing quality: Most of the story, you’ll see something similar to what I wrote on the synopsis. Since this was my first time writing anything, the novel had some problems which I've been trying my best to fix over time, but finally, I can confidently say that I've done a good job of cleaning up the story (for the most part). I can also confidently say that you will find typos, grammatical or punctual mistakes and some repeats of words and expressions and whatnot. (I did a spelling check like four times and I still find some mistakes here and there to this day. I'm sorry I’m a failure) Story - General feel: Alright, after you’ve just read the synopsis (or if you know the previous review I put here), you probably think that this novel is something grim dark and depressing, right? You’re right. At least, on some occasions. Those “some occasions” mostly being the side stories and the World building stuff that pops out throughout the story. But if I were to write a completely honest synopsis, it would probably go like this: [A 300-year-old spirit does slice-of-life things in another world. There’s also some stuff about him trying to achieve immortality, unearthing the secrets of the Final Empress, discovering the history of a broken empire, yada yada.] So yeh. Story – Themes Hmm… I guess the biggest theme in my novel turned out to be one’s identity. Although I want to explain this part a bit better, honestly, I’m struggling a bit with the concept myself, so I guess you can see me trying to wrap my head around it through Evin’s story. There’s also some more parts expressing such mind-blowing new ideas like: life sucking, war being bad, ethical dilemmas, ignoring morals entirely due to circumstances and then feeling bad, etc, etc. Story - Pacing and development: Warning: Slow story. If you don’t like slow stories don’t read. I don’t know how, but I’m able to write on seemingly the most mundane of things continuously, and most readers love them for whatever reason. There’s also the side stories that pop out occasionally. Obviously, I try to connect them into the main story and push the story ahead, but a lot of others will probably feel bored through it and want to kill themselves. That’s completely okay. Just leave the story and read a more fast-paced story; there’s like at least 16 of them on the site(I know since I tried counting them all). Characters: My goal when I was writing this story, is that every character could become a waifu for someone(even the MC! nANI?) and that they don’t just exist to further the plotline. Also, even if I don’t write about it on the novel all the time, I try to give every character a proper backstory (that exists in a very rudimentary way inside my head). This helps a lot in helping me decide what kind of actions they will take in certain situations. I’m also focusing a lot on giving the charas proper flaws and whatnot so they can get satisfying development and whatnot. MC: Also, MC will make dumb mistakes, suboptimal decisions, weird thoughts a lot of times. He will not be perfect, he will not always win, and he will not always be cool. So, if you want a self-insert power-fantasy story, then this novel is probably not for you. But I don’t want you to think that this novel literally has no satisfying moments. I’d write a bunch of stuff here to prove this point to you, but I feel that you should experience it yourself. World-Building: It’s lit fam. At least according to all the readers. And honestly, I really like it as well, so I spend a lot of time trying to keep things consistent and plot-hole free. Sadly, I do a really shit job at it, so feel free to point out any inconsistencies you may find and call me a degenerate human being for writing such low-quality content. Don’t worry, I won’t cry. Jokes aside, I’m actually thinking of taking a 1 or 2 week break to dedicate all my to fixing some stuff, but At any rate, that’s all for now, thanks for reading till the end. Enjoy.

GERALDO_BRITO
GERALDO_BRITOLv2
Felipe_Aguiar
Felipe_AguiarLv2
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