Review Detail of Boeira in World System

It's in the early stages, so i'm not going to put much pressure and evaluate the story as It is. The character show some potentialy good development. The update for now is good, hope It keep going forward. The world is our own with some changes. I have not found any glaring mistakes in either words or sentence that stops the reading from flowing, english is not my Native language. I hope it is just my impression, but It appears you are trying a little too hard to speed up the story.