Review Detail of TheSeagull in The Vagabond Deity

Other than story development, I couldn't tell much of what was happening. You need to fix a lot of your word choice because a lot of the words are either misspelled so that they mean something entirely different, or are not used correctly. Above all, the way more complex words are stuck into the obviously simple writing style makes for sentences that are difficult and frustrating to read. This also goes for the sentence structure. If you can't do it in a way that is grammatically correct and doesn't affect the overall flow of the plot, then I'd advise you to stay away from more intricate sentences. Another thing: get someone to proofread your story for grammatical errors, or use Google Docs/Grammarly; otherwise, the poor grammar takes away from the reading experience. Because of said grammatical errors, it's difficult to follow the story. Contrary to the writing style, the idea isn't too bad. It's not unique by any means, but at least it's a solid cliché you'll be able to fall back on. With a few rounds of heavy editing and revising, I think you might be able to work in a more coherent plotline. In summary, I think the diction and grammar of the story need fixing, but the story is going in the right direction. Good luck, and I look forward to see your story develop in the future! :)