Review Detail of TaintedMetal in これを削除6

Let me say that I really appreciate the effort that the story is trying to present. The biggest positive of this book is that it's one of those stories that has reincarnation without involving a truck. We also get to see the protagonist going through this reincarnation with its own obstacles and challenges. One of my criticisms is how the story integrates with the world. I can see where the setting is but in some cases there's too much telling (including the fantasy elements) rather than showing. Another criticism I have is that at some point, in the most recent chapter, there are written sound effects like bam, crack, and "ahh" (the screaming kind). I think they need to be shown with words/reactions from characters instead of writing the actual sound. There's also the characters, I don't see much from the protagonist, or the other characters, but hopefully there would be more character development in the future. Of course I do encourage the author to continue this story, because I do see its potential. Just maybe try to do more showing than telling, sharpen the writing technique, and flesh out characters, that's all. Best of luck for the author. Keep on writing.