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Review Detail of Funone in Mushoku Tensei: Arthur Greyrat. The elder twin brother of Rudeus

Review detail

Funone
FunoneLv44mthFunone

I was looking forward to reading this fanfiction because i loved the original. However, the chapters consist of nearly all fialogue and ver little setting. On Top of that the characters have very little or No buildup and react to situations in a way that makes them bland/dead

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Mushoku Tensei: Arthur Greyrat. The elder twin brother of Rudeus

Rudeus_GreyratRoxy

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Replies3

Daoist198784
Daoist198784Lv4Daoist198784

Go ****

Rudeus_GreyratRoxy:Okay... I'm sorry to hurt your expectation so much... This was originally written for 'fun' when I just started this so not very good in terms of writing. In the start I as so gung-ho on writing a fanfic myself. I'm also lazy on rewriting it since I also don't have the time. Originally I want them to have a happy childhood but I got carried away and made many troll chapters. Then when the calamity happens I planned for him to experience hell. I'm sorry for ruining a masterpiece on this trashy fanfic. I also have a plan of making a Rudeus fanfic myself but not reincarnation. Right now I'm just accumilating experience and improve on my writing. Thanks for the review
Rudeus_GreyratRoxy
Rudeus_GreyratRoxyAuthorRudeus_GreyratRoxy

Okay... I'm sorry to hurt your expectation so much... This was originally written for 'fun' when I just started this so not very good in terms of writing. In the start I as so gung-ho on writing a fanfic myself. I'm also lazy on rewriting it since I also don't have the time. Originally I want them to have a happy childhood but I got carried away and made many troll chapters. Then when the calamity happens I planned for him to experience hell. I'm sorry for ruining a masterpiece on this trashy fanfic. I also have a plan of making a Rudeus fanfic myself but not reincarnation. Right now I'm just accumilating experience and improve on my writing. Thanks for the review

Magnowa
MagnowaLv5Magnowa

Dont worry about it, You could always rewrite this later when you have more experience, the premese is very unique of an idea, honestly its the first mushoku fanfic ive seen so far so that works to your advantage along with the fact that this could easily become a very good novel once you rewrite it to be more in tune with your oc’s into the book, matter of fact considering the nature of mushoku you should probably make the abilities you want to give him more in line with the book, like say the haki, instead of it being a power from another fiction how about mailking it ‘an original power’ with very similar properties :D

Rudeus_GreyratRoxy:Okay... I'm sorry to hurt your expectation so much... This was originally written for 'fun' when I just started this so not very good in terms of writing. In the start I as so gung-ho on writing a fanfic myself. I'm also lazy on rewriting it since I also don't have the time. Originally I want them to have a happy childhood but I got carried away and made many troll chapters. Then when the calamity happens I planned for him to experience hell. I'm sorry for ruining a masterpiece on this trashy fanfic. I also have a plan of making a Rudeus fanfic myself but not reincarnation. Right now I'm just accumilating experience and improve on my writing. Thanks for the review