Review Detail of XXXXX12 in Villain or Hero?
Review detail
the writing itself is pretty good, but that's about the only positive... you jump right into the action without any backstory... we don't know what his mom looks like or even a hobby... just the mc fighting and randomly getting a friend who is a vigilante we also know nothing about... then his mom is basically yes-man with no personality of her own... there is literally no story only mc running around doing random shit like talking to the league of villains for some reason... or suddenly joining ua in the middle of the year... it feels like author thought, this'll be cool... and it could be... but we don't get the journey, only the end result... it's like a hero getting summoned to another world... time skip to fighting the demon generals... another timeskip to the demon king.... you skip the whole story and only constant action that makes no sense since there is no character and world building...
Villain or Hero?
AyakoTatsunishi
Liked by 2 people
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you need more backstory, like his reactions when his quirk awakened, how he interacts with others in early childhood, how he decided to become a vigilante and such... i mean he's homeschooled for 13 years...? so he's never been outside or what? why was he homeschooled in the first place? im not a writer and my advice probably doesn't mean that much but basically write backstory... instead of just going action all the time, write about how the mc interacts with others outside of fighting. like for example: how he is at home with his mom... (and not just saying: i broke the sandbag buy another one) how does he interact with his friends when he's out having fun? i only read till chapter five, and read a bit after that since you responded... and it seems to get a lot better with more character building but if you really wan't people to read this novel... then consider editing the first 4-5 chapters, it's really a mess with the random time skips and action all over the place i mean... this guy is taking a random walk through town and ends up in the villains main base... like wtf? how does this just happen randomly?
AyakoTatsunishi:Do you have any suggestions for how to make it better? I'll take that into account when I am writing.
Thanks for the advice. I myself used to only be a reader not so long ago so I'm improving as much as possible with advice from those reading my stories. Thanks!
XXXXX12:you need more backstory, like his reactions when his quirk awakened, how he interacts with others in early childhood, how he decided to become a vigilante and such... i mean he's homeschooled for 13 years...? so he's never been outside or what? why was he homeschooled in the first place? im not a writer and my advice probably doesn't mean that much but basically write backstory... instead of just going action all the time, write about how the mc interacts with others outside of fighting. like for example: how he is at home with his mom... (and not just saying: i broke the sandbag buy another one) how does he interact with his friends when he's out having fun? i only read till chapter five, and read a bit after that since you responded... and it seems to get a lot better with more character building but if you really wan't people to read this novel... then consider editing the first 4-5 chapters, it's really a mess with the random time skips and action all over the place i mean... this guy is taking a random walk through town and ends up in the villains main base... like wtf? how does this just happen randomly?