Review Detail of RJMidnight in Shadow Lord Reborn

Your story is not bad, I like it and it has potential. The things is the grammar. Your dialogue is a bit weird. Unless you write like that, if not, dialogue should be written like this: “How to explain the ways you annoy me? One you eat with your mouth full. Two you take all the freaking blankets. Three you never defend me in front of your mother. And four, stop taking me to terrible restaurants!” The husband complained, listing his grievances to his significant other. “You are being ridicious, love. Now come sit down, you are drawing attention to yourself.” Another thing, you have a few grammar mistakes that can easily be fixed and doesn’t throw the story off. I really enjoyed it and I have been getting into system stories for a while now. Keep up the good work!