Review Detail of Stand_TheWorld777 in SUCCESSOR OF THE VERSE
Review detail
I asked if mc will continue to follow Luffy until raftel becomes the ultimate goal of the pirate king? I don't mean to be rude and disrespectful, but I have to say this. if my words offend you I'm sorry but I have to be honest to review your novel. Spoiler !!! Mc was given a system from the god of the universe to be his successor and when he entered the world he only followed Luffy as vice-captain. (The funny thing is, the MC trained for 5 months only to see Zoro and Luffy come to the city of shells to join as vice-captain of Luffy. In the end your MC novel is a nanny, congrats !!!) This meant there was no point in having more power if he couldn't find the plot or change it himself. (Remember the adage "With great power comes great responsibility.") And I believe when the MC travels to another world he will be the MC's nanny and observing the environment from MC onwards is always like that. Come on bro, did you make a chapter per novel just to highlight the characters Luffy and MC become side characters who only come when needed and discarded when not needed. To be honest in reading your story at first I expected good things but sorry it didn't go my way. {My suggestion is that if you just wanted to write this novel without your own plot on the webnovel from the reader's point of view, you'd be sure to get insulted if not now maybe later. Because I've seen many writers on webnovel cause readers to comment badly which results in writers quitting writing. I suggest you write on fanfiction.net or wattpad for a lot of friendly readers.}
SUCCESSOR OF THE VERSE
Whiteink
Liked by 9 people
LIKEReplies4
I appreciate your review but you are not looking at Mc's point of view. He was all alone in his previous life and had no friends. Suddenly one of his most favorite people come to life, so of course he would want to meet them. And MC is just a teenager so he will make mistakes on the way. And Mc will be on Luffy's crew and may become one of the captains of straw hat fleet and move separately.
You said he was alone before right, why not make friends for him in his second life right now he is in the world of one piece? (A world where people who have no equality, only the strong can speak while the weak are only able to indulge the world's nobles to live. Marines are only the dogs of the world's nobility, pirates are only carriers of disaster, and the revolutionary army is an organization that opposes the world government by its means. all you know is that they are using dirty means to get support against world governments. There are a lot of people who can't be trusted here, that's why you have to find loyal friends instead of following Luffy.) I know that our MC is amazed to see the person he admires become real, but instead following Lutfi mah's character you mean you only add your MC character to one piece and there isn't any change in the plot. interacting with the straw hat members is fine, there are even some fanfics like this, but deciding to follow it and no significant changes actually make the value of your novel decrease. (which means here you make your MC believe in the power of Nakama and don't see the world of one piece from the point of view of reality. lol why don't you just make him go to the world of Naruto as well as there he can follow Naruto and spread his talk no jutsu that turns opponents into friends.) you know what I mean right? I also don't blame her character who is still a teenager because she is also still developing with the growth of her character. I apologize once again if my words offend you. but sorry this is not my taste. my advice: you better rewrite your novel by creating your own plot / story.
Whiteink:I appreciate your review but you are not looking at Mc's point of view. He was all alone in his previous life and had no friends. Suddenly one of his most favorite people come to life, so of course he would want to meet them. And MC is just a teenager so he will make mistakes on the way. And Mc will be on Luffy's crew and may become one of the captains of straw hat fleet and move separately.