Alrighty! I can see that you are new to writing. Your concept is interesting, and what I liked more was how you're focussing on giving the enemy a background as well. It helps in creating insight. If I may be so bold, I'd like to suggest that you replace dialogues with descriptions about character's response and emotions. Try to keep dialogues to a bare minimum so that you can create an impact when humour is what you want to display. And don't you worry about writing, you'll get better over time. P.S. I gave it a read this morning but I wasn't logged in. Just mentioned it if my name doesn't show up in your reads.
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