"Endbringer" reads very much like a Japanese light novel, and I'm sure that's what the author was going for. Points to consider: -Dialogue and general formatting: As many reviews had pointed out before me, readers do prefer the usage of "Sentences that look like this," and that's all I could say about it. As for the general look of the story, it can get quite hard to read not only due to the dialogue, but also due to the long paragraphing. -Narration: I know this was written when you were still in high school, but editing it up now would do you good. (Even editing your narration in the first few chapters will attract you more readers). Also, dialogue was used a tad bit too much, so add a bit more narration too. Good points: -Many Japanese culture lovers will get attracted to your novel, and it's already getting there, so great job. To conclude, it's a great webnovel written in a lightnovel format, and therefore stands out from the others. There are slight problems in grammar and formatting, but otherwise, can be an interesting read. Good job, author!
Shionokami
Liked by 4 people
LIKEThanks! I will try to do some editing so it gets easier to read as for the "senteces that look like this" like i said to many it will be hard to change as we use the ( - ) in my coutry to tell that a character will start to speak and we use the ( " " ) for when a character is thinking and as i said seeing this kind of writing in a lot of books sice young age it's kind of engraved in me but i will keep this in mind when i start a new story but it will be hard to get used to... But anyway im happy you liked it!
Oh, I understand that. Hopefully, you'll get to use it in your other novels later on. I'll gladly have a look at them too! :D
Shionokami:Thanks! I will try to do some editing so it gets easier to read as for the "senteces that look like this" like i said to many it will be hard to change as we use the ( - ) in my coutry to tell that a character will start to speak and we use the ( " " ) for when a character is thinking and as i said seeing this kind of writing in a lot of books sice young age it's kind of engraved in me but i will keep this in mind when i start a new story but it will be hard to get used to... But anyway im happy you liked it!
Hua_Li_An:Oh, I understand that. Hopefully, you'll get to use it in your other novels later on. I'll gladly have a look at them too! :D