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DaoistJJepUa
DaoistJJepUaLv13yr
2021-06-17 07:17

I think it's interesting story which merits more views. In fact there is only one bad point : too much description. The universe is well developed, but it lacks in term of precision (sorry for my english, it's not a language that i speak).

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Other Reviews
Kuro_Usagi17
Kuro_Usagi17Lv3

I have really enjoyed the story so far as the concept and world design are unique and interesting. The story can be a little confusing in the beginning as a lot of terms were mentioned without much explanation. An example is how the markings work. You end up spending a lot of time guessing what a lot of it means. It can also be confusing with how some of the characters are connected. A very memorable revelation happened in the very beginning with Dae, and then it's like our MC has completely forgotten the knowledge she became aware of. It is unusual based on her character design that she would just feign ignorance, when she confronts almost everything else head on. The writing quality of this story is definitely on the higher end, compared to a lot of the stories on this website. However, there are some confusing grammar issues at the beginning, where it switches from 1st person to 3rd person perspective, then back again in one paragraph. Also, the paragraphs tend to be exceedingly long at times, with the sentences running together. I love all of the details and the spelling is usually spot on, but the run-on sentences can be distracting. I think if the sentences were broken up a little more, with a reduction in the paragraph sizes, this story would be fantastic. I normally don't write reviews, but I think this story has great potential therefore I wanted to comment. I frequently use an app called Grammarly for my college classes, if you don't have an editor it can substitute as a free one. Thank you for providing everyone with a great story, I look forward to diving deeper into the chapters. Great work!

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