Review Detail of Missa_Collingwood in Imperial Nanny Ying Yue
Review detail
The premise of this story is wonderful as well as the idea behind it. Perhaps it's just me but for some reason the writing comes off awkwardly. For example 'he asked interrogatingly' or 'he said assertively'. You use phrases like that consistently. If a question is asked usually it's automatically in an interrogative tone since an interrogation is just an official year for the questioning that the police do. Basically, it becomes a bit redundant in that aspect. There are also other things you can use to describe besides those adverbs. For instance instead of saying 'he said assertively', a phrase like he stated in a tone that made it clear he was serious. It's longer but it fits in and provides imagery. I am honestly not trying to Lecture of put you down because I think it's amazing to pursue your goals and consistently put in effort. It's just that I personally believe that I'd be doing an injustice by not saying anything because I truly like the premise of the book. It is a skillful blend of both modern and ancient to me.
Imperial Nanny Ying Yue
Dominique1412
Liked by 12 people
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Thank you for expressing your thoughts so clearly and liberately to me. I'm not used into writing like that yet. I was used writing my texts using dialogues. Writing it descriptively is so new to me. Thank you so much for pointing it out. I'll try my best on improving on what you mentioned. Thank you so much for liking our adventures! Ying Yue and myself, we both thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts.
Thank you for not getting upset and acknowledging my comment. I'm rooting for you so I expect even better. Since description isn't your thing, I'd suggest you read poetry. It may be a bit boring compared to reading a story but poetry requires a lot of descriptions whether by use of alliteration, similes and metaphors. Poems try to convey as much meaning as it can no matter how short it is so I think it would benefit you greatly.
Dominique1412:Thank you for expressing your thoughts so clearly and liberately to me. I'm not used into writing like that yet. I was used writing my texts using dialogues. Writing it descriptively is so new to me. Thank you so much for pointing it out. I'll try my best on improving on what you mentioned. Thank you so much for liking our adventures! Ying Yue and myself, we both thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts.