Review Detail of Noleafyet in Nonn

This is one has a lot of potential to be a goody. Nice pacing, easy in the eyes. How can I help you further develop this piece. Hmnn. I kindly suggest that you focus more on 'showing not telling'. E.g. 'He said angrily' - you can change it into 'he slowly moves his gait towards me, I saw deep valleys and mountains building its way on his forehead. Ah, he's angry.' It will help you develop the personalities of your character. Hope this helps. May the author write more, edit more, and learn more!