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Review Detail of Hua_Li_An in The Lost and The Gone

Review detail

Hua_Li_An
Hua_Li_AnLv33yrHua_Li_An

This has enormous potential, but it's tricky to pull off. By potential, I mean like being a complete hit, like 13 Reasons Why. The story is already unique because of the way it's written. It's a first person narrative, but he's always speaking with his sister. Now, if it's done properly, I can easily imagine it flying off the shelves. The problem, though, is that it still needs a lot of work. ***Note to author*** -The first chapter was nice, and I could glean through the sad messages to his sister, but using it too much in the later chapter can become off-putting. I'm not saying to stop it, but I dare say that too much sadness can make the readers put the book down. -Characterization: The MC is a loner now, so there are little interactions with other people. That becomes a problem because it becomes harder to insert dialogue into a big wall of texts. How to potentially solve it? Add a certain character trait to the MC that makes the readers want to know more about him. Right now, he's only a sad brother who got his sister murdered. Is he spunky? If he's a nerd, I can't sense it through his narration. Think more about how to engage the readers more. -Too many narration can be off-putting. I know it can be hard, but do your best to think of a solution to this. So, that's it. I'm actually feeling really excited about how this book will turn out if it can get polished a lot. I see humongous potential, so I do hope I could read it in its best form in the future. Good luck, dear author! I'm rooting for you.

altalt

The Lost and The Gone

JustLikeWriting777

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JustLikeWriting777
JustLikeWriting777AuthorJustLikeWriting777

Thank u for ur suggestion. If you read the part two of this, I think it'll become better as he starts 'interacting' with others :) But I'll try and improve it. Btw how many chapters have u read by now?

Hua_Li_An
Hua_Li_AnLv3Hua_Li_An

Around 3 right now.

JustLikeWriting777:Thank u for ur suggestion. If you read the part two of this, I think it'll become better as he starts 'interacting' with others :) But I'll try and improve it. Btw how many chapters have u read by now?
JustLikeWriting777
JustLikeWriting777AuthorJustLikeWriting777

Well...wow. I mean THAT was quick.

Hua_Li_An:Around 3 right now.
Hua_Li_An
Hua_Li_AnLv3Hua_Li_An

AHHAHA it is engrossing!!

JustLikeWriting777:Well...wow. I mean THAT was quick.
JustLikeWriting777
JustLikeWriting777AuthorJustLikeWriting777

lol [img=recommend]

Hua_Li_An:AHHAHA it is engrossing!!