webnovel
TheNUT
TheNUTLv133yr
2021-01-17 14:32

why though ................................ ................................................. .................................................

Liked by 4 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Rados47
Rados47Author

Hey there! Shameless Author Review, let's go! A year ago, I wrote this story, but I felt like it needed some changes, so I made a rewrite. This rewrite follows the original, but its better in my opinion, so I will be saying what I think is better. First off, I think the writing. I remember my descriptions being childish last time I wrote, seeing as how it was my first time writing. I don't think that fact has changed much, but I believe there is a visible difference. I'm not that good when it comes to the writing aspect, although the ideas are in my head, bringing them out into words is a bit tough! But I believe its better than before. Next, I can promise that I'll be updating everyday. As has been observed by readers, I haven't failed to update even a single day. Going so far to bring up Power stone challenges and bringing those 5 chapters out, not even taking them as a part of my weekly schedule! I promise a minimum of 5 chapters a week, so you won't be bored a single day! Also, the story development! This part some might find annoying since its in my opinion, a BIG story! It starts of with a feeling of mystery and there being more than what everything seems, but those won't be focused on, since they only blur out the current happenings. I believe that the story is very slow paced, but this aspect will be picking up the pace with each arc. Slowly, but surely, you will notice certain events happening quicker and quicker and before you realise, the pace will be too fast to keep up with. Until then, I hope you enjoy the arcs in between them! Then there's the diverse cast. Or what I hope to be diverse. The monsters are very cliche, same common traits, looks and stereotypes. A few unconventional creatures, but not a lot, all with their own traditions, cultures, characters, attitudes and perceptions on life. I hope they blend colourfully to enthrall you readers! I spent a while thinking about the world (A year) and to be honest, after a bit of chipping and cutting out chaff, it is quite a small one, compared to what i was envisioning at first. It takes place in a small continent in a completely random world that has been altered by the actions of "gods". The land is divided into a few zones, with different races, and other twists and turns, lore and history and the other good stuff I won't be mentioning now. This is it for my review at the end of the 2nd Arc, Chapter 40 something (lol, Idk) In short, enjoy!

Phodoodles
PhodoodlesLv1

This a highly amusing piece. If you're into reincarnation & comedy this would entertain you. I liked the the pacing of the story as the author knows when to tone down and also when to place humour on some chapters. I liked Karma's sass too. Sometimes Karma would just be chill and next thing, he/she/it would be a condescending companion lmao. There are some technical issues that I bothered me as I read this. First point, punctuation marks. During the initial chapters, I noticed some parts wherein the author didn't put any indications or marks for the character's monologues/thoughts. Although it was written mostly as a First person POV, the writting gets confusing as some of the narrative parts were typed out as dialogues and sometimes the dialogues are supposed to be internal thoughts. Second, lack of vigilance in proofreading. This got progressively worse past chapter 8, as I saw a lot of run-ons, slight typos, incorrect tenses and active/passive voice misuse. At first, it was bearable, but as I get to the mid-end part of the chapter, I'm seeing those errors pop up every now and then. One of the chapters even had a character saying the word "wonder" instead of the word "wonderful" (context of the dialogue was the character is describing a good idea.) Third, limited vocabulary pool. This by far made my eyes squint a lot. Sometimes I noticed that some words were inappropriately used- or more like the context of the word doesn't fit the scenario/dialogue. I can see the author trying to show diversity on his writing, but again, just by simply placing "synonyms" won't cut it. Another thing to note, I noticed that some of the expressions and dialogues get repetitive. (One chapter even had a paragraph where the word "deem" had been repeated 3-4 times) I do recommend that the author should be vigilant in proofreading and utilizing grammar checkers. I think with minor revisions, this story would shine better.

Related Stories

My SSS-Rank Class Is Blood Monarch!

'Divinity Online'. The new breakthrough in the Full-Immersion Virtual Reality technology. After decades of work, Divinity Corp had achieved the impossible. Creating a massive video game world that people can enter and live in as if it were Earth. Their goal was clear, to create a world other than Earth that we can call home. A place where the laws of reality vanish, and the true ceiling of power shifts completely. Naturally, the shockwave Divinity Online created across the entire globe was unlike anything else. Every single person has heard of it, even those who have had no interest in video games before. Giant corporations and even governments immediately rushed to start planning to invest in this new world and just like that, billions of people had their eyes on one single date: the 19th of July. *** Arthur, like everyone else, had heard of the game and was as excited as everyone else to try it, if not even more. With how much he grew bored of his life on earth, this fantasy world was like the divine call he had been searching for. However, there was a very small problem. He had no money to buy the machine required to access Divinity Online. His wretched life had turned him into a broke teenager with no parents, and no relatives. But, by some kind of luck, he got his hands on one of those machines. Not knowing what was awaiting him in that world, Arthur was simply seeking one thing... A new opportunity in life and to find a purpose he could work for when he had none so far. [Welcome to 'Divinity Online'.] [Assimilation Started...]

Frost_Bite8 · Fantasy
4.2
221 Chs

Armipotent

This is a work of fiction, any names, characters, stories or events, are fictitious! (Even the country in the story is just the author's fantasy as the author never visited those countries in the story) Armipotent is an archaic adjective meaning "strong in battle." Basically, it refers to someone who is physically tough in war. Originally, it was used to refer to the Roman god of war, Mars. ===================== Tang Shaoyang, an orphan who dropped out of the middle school to fight on the street as he found out school was useless for a penniless orphan like him. Tang Shaoyang dropped out of his school, fighting on the street, and made a name for himself. Berserker Tang from Youyouliucun. Afterward, Dragon Wing triad recruited him and everything was good for him. Even though the public deemed him as a tumor of society, Tang Shaoyang was having a decent life. Until one day, everything changed as an absurd and strange game started. "... Game starts! Stage one: Survival for The Fittest!" After the game started, zombies appeared out of nowhere. ... Ding! "You have killed 1000 zombies less than 24 hours since the game started! You gained 3 Talents!" Dong! "You may choose 3 Talents! please choose carefully!" Tang Shaoyang held his chin and mused what Talent he had to choose. "With Zombies appear everywhere, I need an infinite strength... this is one, I still need to choose 2 Talents more..." Then a lewd smile formed on his lips. "I want an infinite strength, charm and charisma to conquer women, and the last one, I want to upgrade my **** so I can please my women!" After saying this, Tang Shaoyang laughed aloud. "Hahaha, there's no way such talent exists... ehhhhh?!!!" Ding! Dong! "3 Talents are consumed! You have been granted Divine Body! Good Luck, Gamer Tang Shaoyang!" Tang Shaoyang immediately checked the detail of Divine Body. After a brief silence, he muttered unbelievably. "Such Talents really exist..." Note: I don't own the cover. If the creator wants me to take down the cover or put credit, please notify me by replying to my review at the Review section.

HotIce · Fantasy
4.4
1801 Chs

I Can Copy And Evolve Talents

The convolution of worlds are govern by a set of gods, each god is given a world to rule and there can be skirmishes between them – as a result of one between Nexus, the god of trickery and a senile old hag Elliot reincarnated into Ul’Tra-el by mistake. Ul’Tra-el is a world that grew a voice, because of this voice, it began to take a different path from other worlds -- it was filled with a core anomaly – rifts. Dimensions began to leak into each other, vomiting outrageous monsters. In response or as an auto-correction to such anomaly, talents were awakened in the inhabitants of Ul’Tra-el and they gained tremendous power, for every rift they close down, they were rewarded massively by the voice of the world called Ul. In a hardcore world like this one, our MC (Northern) reincarnated as a talentless individual but in the face of a death and a head splitting revelation... ...when all hopes seemed lost. {System Notice} Your Soul cannot take a form Searching for Unique pattern ability for your soul searching... search found. Unique System ability has been found... Unique System Ability [CopyCat] has been gained. Awakening Unique ability... Northern gained a talent copying system! ... Follow Northern through his journey as he becomes the pinnacle of this world. This a story about a white-haired boy’s rise from rubbles!! Note: This is an overpower genre but MC does not just start off like that. Even though MC can copy talents he doesn't just jump around copying talents because there's a limitation. However, his rise to strength is depicted and is an experience to enjoy. The first few hundreds would be frustrating to follow because MC is weak but that makes the experience all the more interesting when MC finally gets freaking strong and starts wiping the floor with everyones asses.

RighteousFilth · Fantasy
3.8
662 Chs