Review Detail of varean in The Forgotten Memories : SHIO KAIBA

Your synopsis is beautiful, it got me hooked as I read it. I've only read a couple of chapters and it's interesting. I like how realistic the story made me feel. Though there are a few points I'd like to point out, first would be the dialogues. I think there's just too much, it'll be better to add the character's thoughts because it can help us connect with the main character more. Also, the facial expressions for your dialogues need to change up a bit. I'm not a professional writer but those are just a few points that I and some people think that you should work on. Nevertheless, you've created a wonderful plot. I know you'll keep improving as you write so keep up the good work. Keep updating! Your story is promising.