Review Detail of MorriganHex in The Firce Princess

Hello! Whatever you're gonna read in the review below is solely based on my own perspective as a reader. I meant no harm or offense by this honest, constructive review. Take this with a grain of salt, and discard whatever u see fit not helping. I didn't have time to proofread this so I also apologize for the typos/wrong grammars. :')) • When I'm reviewing I usually just read till Chapter 3 coz those were the most vital introduction to me by a book to whether I'd continue beyond that or not. I read until Chapter 5, and here are the impressions/thoughts/reviews it gave me: Overall Impression: • At C1, the opening incite a thrill to me as reader since I loooooved Fantasy stories like this back when I was a teen. That's why I was smiling upon reading the opening paragraph which happened to be her dream. You set the problem right off the bat, which is our FL's inhuman powers that ultimately questions her identity (thumbs up); and the important part I saw but given not enough justice (especially when she just left) is the lovely and heartwarming dynamic with her Aunt and Uncle (will discuss later). There were li'l important details left off in C1 that could've make it more solid. Example is her wings and powers; it could've been lovelier if it's been established how these two concepts "troubles" her daily life (more than the mem'ry of her late parents) that made her say "it's growing stronger". An instance at school or when she's with her friends or other people where her powers manifested would've be an example. Her dreams wasn't enough, tbh. Speaking of the wings still, it left the same rational justification questions to me again when I read through the C3. These are seemingly little details, but are vital to your characterization. Questions I noted down were: a) Does her wings shows? How large are they if it can be hidden from ordinary human eyes, especially when she's been living with her Aunt and Uncle since she's 7? They bound to know it somehow. And speaking of her Aunt and Uncle, it made me question Annabelle's behavior in C3 when she just left the house without hesitation. I mean, I get it, she's mad at them for hiding the truth to her, but when I went back to the lovely dynamic they had on C1, it made me question her action. Coz their interaction in C1 gave me an impression that they were good to her, that'd be another thing if they're an ass from the start. It lacked emotional connection. It was as though Annabelle's action was purposely rushed to that decision for the sake of moving the plot. This became more evident as I read through C4 and C5. You have lovely dialogues going in the entire book, but it lacked narratives—descriptive narratives. Ninety percent of TFP is (includes telling), while the descriptive narratives is roughly ten percent only (includes showing). The imageries were a bit lacking too, especially when she finally reached the Mystic Realm. I want to know what makes Annabelle say that she loved the place already, make us believe what she say. Make your readers see through the eyes of Annabelle. This is quite important coz this is a fantasy story, and a vivid world building is a must. And that is because, as per my observation, you are more focused on the dialogues. It's not entirely bad, but a good decriptive narratives backing up those conversations would be a lovely balance. Another good example for that is when Annabelle first met Richard. She said that he's "tall, handsome, and attractive" which is a plain telling. Show us WHY she says so. Example only: As I opened the door, my eyes first landed at someone's blue-shirt clad lean chest with broad shoulders. I looked up, painfully so, and unwittingly gulped as my eyes clashed with a startling blue eyes of a man. His sinful thin, red lips contorted to a cheeky smile. My knees felt like Jell-O, but I firmed myself. Damn! He's tall, handsome and attractive! I thought. You actually did it when you describe Isabelle. Thumbs up for that. Another good part to execute with the showing is that instance in C4 (or was it C5) when Richard taught Annabelle how to fly. That could've been more thrilling of there's enough showing of how Annabelle felt then. • There are instances you misused words too, as well as your proper usage of dialogue and action tag. I suggest proofreading before posting the chapter. Grammarly application would help you a lot. :')) Overall, TFP is a diamond in the rough, and I'm not kidding coz the fact this is contracted and premiumed says that already. As a passionate reader, it just felt rushed for me. You have a direct writing style as I see, but you need to find that balance between telling and showing because this is a fantasy story. And as avid fantasy readers, we loved to be pulled into the world of your characters. You can do it! I know you can! 🤗✨