Review Detail of A_person_4016 in Kimetsu no Yaiba: a Adventure tale: part 1

why is it bad

hey

hey I need to talk to you

are you here to tell me that my story is bad

ok fine. First of all, there are a few typos and missing punctuations. A quick read of the story should be enough to fix most of them. Use a grammar checker if you are lazy, but still check it manually just in case. Second: The story starts with a ton of exposition, and it felt more like the middle of the story than the beginning. World building is a delicate process, and if you blast your shit with a fucking ton of expo, its gonna be boring. Third: There isn't an introduction, or a "normal life" as story writers call it. This is a problem mostly occuring with fanfic writers, where they skip every explanation that exists in the source and only focus on their own AU. Instead, assume that your readers never read/watched the fanfic source, and change parts at your own discretion. Don't turn the mc into an oc character though. Its awful when a fanfic writer writes about harry potter but there isn't magic (you know, like the dumb highschool life fanfics that appear once in a while). Fourth: WTF is voltron a tag you used? I get it, crossovers exist, but thats too big of a gap to make sense. fifth: The story didn't feel like a fanfiction, and more like a unfinished draft of a book. use a software like world anvil or campfire to help out with world building.

I meant to ask you that my story was awful but this I thought I did everything right but it doesn't feel like garbage, but hey is that what you think then you don't deserve to read my story

Advertising what??

Allison is new to fan fiction. She doesn't know how it works. She's also autistic. I thought, as a mom, she did really well. This is her first story . It's just a story .I think it's fine. Thank you for your input. Goodbye .

I see... I'm sorry. I'm a part time writer (writing and making videogame quests for my friend's game) and I take writing really seriously. I was always known to give pretty some pretty harsh criticism when it comes to it. I apologise, as looking back at it, I think my comments were too harsh. I didn't know your daughter had autism, and my comments were uncalled for.

That's OK I'm still pretty new

hey

hi

Hello I know we haven't been going on the best of terms but Well I guess one you to know that I took your advice.