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Poisontail
PoisontailLv144yr
2020-08-02 07:50

The perspective of a prima donna or a diva character at the beginning, made me think: - if this is the villain or anti-hero, its odd to start with their perspective but thats goof good. - if this is the protagonist, since this is about betrayal, i wont have hard time feeling sympathy. Betrayal can happen to anyone. While i am not sure if this will be a short one but nonetheless, the command of words are good and the grammar is superb. There are times that i would be adding taglish lines while reading.

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CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsLv12

Reading this had be intrigued from the beginning. If I don't focus on the narrative too much, the introduction of the premise is good. I can easily know what kind of story setting we'd have if I want to keep reading it. It definitely had my curiosity. It made me wonder what kind of twists are on the way. Since it's still in the introduction, I can't give a full depth review on the story development. Most of this will be abstract. One of the hardest to do as a writer is to intrigue readers from the first chapter and this novel does well on that! After the prologue, it entices readers to wonder how that becomes to the main storyline. The transitions between characters in the first chapters were well-done. There are two that stood to me because of the amount times their POVs came up. Since the two of them are about to be affiliated, it made me wonder if one is the protagonist and one is the antagonist. I mean I just saw one person did 3 faces in front of 3 people--that almost screams 'antagonist' for me. The idea of seeing both sides of them sounds exciting. Not only does it give out the bigger picture but also it makes the story much more interesting. Their personalities plus the premise seem like a good mix to keep readers interested. There's a lot of characters. I'm unsure if I'm in favor of having them all come out at the same time. When I read their background, like job descriptions, I wonder how they all had the time to meet because I find it hard in real life ad ulthood. Haha. (deng WN censor. had to redo it lol.) The spontaneity of it does make up for it since it's the unplanned that really push through. I found a few parts confusing, mostly some information. I didn't know how they connect and there was disruption in the flow of narrative. It's easily looked over because I just thought I'd understand it better as I read further. The descriptions in the narrative are a hit and a miss for me. There were details that I thoroughly appreciated and there were lack of details that I looked for. It depends on a reader I guess to what they are after and what the writer wants them to focus on. Because more characters came out right away, I'm not quite attached yet to the main characters. POVs are easily switched with a big group and with multiple characters. It's hard to find the balancing point when everyone has a personality to contribute to the story. Overall, the concept is intriguing. The execution can be improved but it doesn't necessarily bring down the intrigue of the premise. I just think that some improvement can really take it to a next level to where it can fully immerse readers into the story. Good luck on future endeavors!

Nightsummer20
Nightsummer20Lv13
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