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JManM
JManMLv53yr
2021-06-02 12:41

This story is a bit too scattered to be anything great. Too much of the story gets lost in the details of things that don't matter, and too little is spent on topics the MC truly cares about. A lot of the begining of the story felt like a series of brief journal entries trying to get to a topic Kal cared enough about to interact with in detail, and when scenes finally started getting some substance Kal was usually just stealing lines from better characters. This story was almost good.

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Daichi_TBR193
Daichi_TBR193Author

Thanks for reading my story. 😊

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