Review Detail of R_Kirbs in Conqueror

The story could be built up better. Nice concept, but you ruined it with your how you started. You could have made it less cliche, but even if you had to make cliches couldn't you have made them better? If you want to make cliche stories, make good cliche stories. Don't make it a half assed effort. You could have made it better but you ruined it. Disappointment.