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Review Detail of Ekmah in the adventure of Fenrisúlfr

Review detail

Ekmah
EkmahLv143yrEkmah

updating stability: no update since two week. world background got 4 stars because it is fanfiction and the background is basically already here, added 1 star because of the starting year. character design & story developement both got 2 stars because of the woshes of the character. Any story with wishes is generally worthless anyway, simply because the wishes always ends up to be utterly broken, to the point of making the entire point of telling a story obsolete. Even more so when the author condense multiple wishes inside of a single one... There will therefor obviously not be any evolution of the MC, nor struggles or challenges ahead... And finally, but the most important point, the writing quality. -lack of ponctuation -lack of words/letters -repetition of the same word multiple time (will edit later with an exemple, if i can) -awkward and poorly built sentence (DO NOT underestimate the importance of this point.) a simple use of grammarly or an auto corrector would have solved most of those problems. This shows the investment of the author in his work...

altalt

the adventure of Fenrisúlfr

Elzik

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Ekmah
EkmahLv14Ekmah

can't edit it on my phone, so there goes the exemple: page 8 of the 2nd chapter(on phone): “So he's a [SPOILER] so i'm [...] ” two “so” one after the other. I'm sorry, but there is so many way to express the same idea, to transmit the same information, and yet you always use one of the worst possibility. also your/you're faults, so i won't be surprised if i see to/too, there/they're, etc Do notify me if i made an error on my review & comment :)

Elzik
ElzikAuthorElzik

I do use Grammarly lol

Ekmah
EkmahLv14Ekmah

for the early chapters it isn't the case, and correcting them shouldn't cost you much time :) I've looked at the last chapters wich are much better, but i'm not gonna torture myself trying to read the first ones just for that. The idea is still a great one, that i would like to read, but it is currently not feasable. Also, simply taking out the wishes from the early chapters, letting us discover (alongside the MC maybe?)his powerset, would go a long way to make this story better. I'm not saying that the wishes shouldn't exist, but that we, the readers and the MC, shouldn't know/remember them. It will allow you, i think, to add an element of mystery and character development that is somewhat lacking :)

Elzik:I do use Grammarly lol