Review Detail of P1zaBox in The Gamer's System

It has a decent start that’s going somewhere. Only problemS are within the grammar. Some sentences had minor problems. The big problem however is that the Author mixes up his past and present tense. This honestly puts me off as someone who grew up with English and it might affect my writing if i get into so imma stop reading. My advice is to get software like grammarly or just get an editor but this is the author’s story so he can do whatever he wants. Maybe in the future, I’ll come back to this.