Item: Unlimited Harem Works
Rating: 5
Author: Fantastic_Spirit

Fantastic_SpiritLv144yr

2021-03-21 03:37

Honestly I dont know where to help you here. Usually people forget to put capitals and periods but not you. About the dialogue, the longer you write the more you figure out how to write better. Its sort of an experience thing. Well anyway this is just encouragement. Even if I havent read the story just for the 1st chapter 5 Stars . I completely agree with those statements btw.

Unlimited Harem Works

Kokushibou

Not enough ratings

8 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Other Reviews

KokushibouAuthor

Just read the sypnosis and my Auxiliary chapter, if you are ok with stuff like this then. Good? If not then i honestly don't know what you are still doing here. Besides these things im open for criticism and ideas. By the way when someone gives me a 1 star review but only writes "TRASH" or something like that, then im gonna delete these because i don't need these reviews. They are annoying, nothing more nothing less.

4yr

NamelessPersonaLv3

You use i a lot and every time it needs to be capitalized to I. The other big thing I would suggest is that the verbs need to be put in the past tense. Most English readers are used to past tense and it feels more natural for them. Present tense is possible but it usually dictates a commanding grasp of the English language. Just making those two changes will improve these chapters immensely. whenever i stands alone it needs to be capitalized

4yr

jeanpierregerardoLv5

good. death note : misa and naomi. .......................................................................................................................................................

4yr

TintedvCeoLv5

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