webnovel
Endless_Clouds
Endless_CloudsLv54yr
2020-09-16 00:44

it doesn't make sense, it's a complete mess with no plot and no fixed structure. A waste of time Obs:Chapter:61 ..........................................................

Prince of Heaven and Hell

Crazy_Beast
4.4
2 Chs

Liked by 2 people

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Replies3
Crazy_Beast
Crazy_BeastAuthor

Well, thank you for taking the time for reading this. If possible, can you point out the mistakes, as I already know my mistakes, and am going to edit the story after chapter 50

4yr
Endless_Clouds
Endless_CloudsLv5

pov transition without apparent explanation or if the pov is about characters important to the plot, the timeline is confusing, details are lacking for the protagonist's actions an example would be the part of the sword forging and the development of the sword ego, then it changes for a character called theo and then another that if I'm not mistaken is Lucius etc., alternates the pov a lot and things are inexplicable

Crazy_Beast:Well, thank you for taking the time for reading this. If possible, can you point out the mistakes, as I already know my mistakes, and am going to edit the story after chapter 50
4yr
Endless_Clouds
Endless_CloudsLv5

the only pov that made sense to me was that of the elf queen

Crazy_Beast:Well, thank you for taking the time for reading this. If possible, can you point out the mistakes, as I already know my mistakes, and am going to edit the story after chapter 50
4yr
Other Reviews
Crazy_Beast
Crazy_BeastAuthor

So, Beast here. I am posting a newer review of this story. The grammar may be wonky, and I am trying to fix it, but I need time. Daily updates, but can't say it for sure. I might miss one or two. Story is too fast-paced, I know it. I am fixing it. A ton of info dumps. I am working on it, to make it more appealing. Ton of World Background packed into a very few chapters. I am rewriting the damned thing again. So, please bear with it.

4yr

Ceecee
CeeceeLv10

I enjoyed what I have read so far. The writing is clean and grammatically sound. I would like to see a bit more description in the beginning chapter. I want to feel like I'm standing right there with the MC as he is entering the video game. Overall, good writing and a neat premise. Keep up the good work.

4yr
desdodo
desdodoLv12

I love the concept, but the grammar I find is just unreadable. I would recommend getting a translator. Wether that means a friends, a payed worker, or even a app like grammarly. It would make the story so much better. Also I love the yandere, there the only reason I keep reading

3yr
DayDreamer01
DayDreamer01Lv3

the author tries to be overly mysterious with his broken grammer which results in rubbish where one cannot make out what the **** is happening. 60 chapters in and we still cannot make out what the **** is this about. dont try to make sense of it ur just wasting ur time

4yr
hartpeler
hartpelerLv10

as one of higheset level player in my guild at black desert online. i can seriously freaking related with the man, and i love how detailed this author could made that made me reminds myself to when im firstly create an account in black desert online. haha

4yr
Kaisen1
Kaisen1Lv4

it has a high potential if not for the fact that the info or background of anything is isn't too little i can just get the gist of it and the other parts aren't explained well. it's fine if you don't explain too deeply but, like explain when the game started and when he entered the game.

4yr
DripItachi
DripItachiLv4

Ugh... I haven't started reading it...but multiple Yandere waifus?! I'm sold ❤️ ...................... ..................... ................... .....

4yr
Daoist1rvBov
Daoist1rvBovLv1

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.

4yr
Crazy_Beast
Crazy_BeastAuthor

It's the author supporting his own book. I will be honest to review it. Why you should read this? Our MC is a creator of Oasis, a VRMMORPG. He is reincarnated kinda into Oasis. The story is good and interesting while Glitch is OP but surely fails many times. His failures make him OP. The updates are frequent, 1 chapter per day. Grammar may be a bit rusty, I still lack it. The world-building is great too as Oasis has a sheer amount of places with an intertwined history.

4yr
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