Review Detail of mrmrcia in The Vulgar Mortal [BL]

I could pretty much say that your introductory chapter was quite the rollercoaster. The whole history of Wu TianLan was basically narrated in that chapter. I do appreciate the extensive account of his background. Withal, it somehow came off as an information dump. For me (please don't mind this. I'm just stupid.), I would've preferred if his history was revealed in snippets as the story progressed. For instance, he saw a lookalike of his mother, then that triggers a recall. Regarding the task and the corresponding punishment, I feel as if the two weren't on equal standing. Making amends as a punishment was a tad underwhelming compared to the task of taking down a monarch's reign, but the punishment for another failure did justice to this. Your pacing is just fine, not too hurried nor slow. I appreciate wordy descriptions rather than lacking in this aspect. Meanwhile, the world background simply appeared as another cultivation setting, one that is prominent, so its something that's already known to many. Nevertheless, this gears more to magic rather than cultivation, so I utterly love that! I just noticed that your verb tenses were inconsistent in the passages. Also, there were some meagre mistakes apropos to misuse/absence of punctuation marks. Howbeit, these mistakes are easily corrected. I just pointed them out because I want you to know that your work could be even more pretty :> I don't really find any unique propensities of MingYu? I guess I just find him a bit bland, in a sense that I won't figure out that it was him in the passage unless there's an indicator. On the other hand, ZhiYi is quite doting. I still adore them both. FEN FEN IS SO CUTE!!! Overall, I did enjoy the story, honestly. You are a better writer than what you take credit for. I'll be supporting you! I'm a fujoshi, so this was a pleasure to read. :> (ZhiYi x MingYu)