Review Detail of mrmrcia in Heaven's Gambit [BL]

I can pretty much say that the duo, Lan Tian and Wu Yun, is like an old couple who's attempting to learn how to navigate a smartphone for the first time. Wu Yun is an elegant rascal, while Lan Tian is such a straitlaced musclebrain. Their innocence during the fornication of the two humans in the river sent me, hahaha. Please let me hit Prince Qi, just once please. And I should never forget that they're doing this all for money. Freaking adorable that they took the longer way around to procure money. We love hardworking beauties. [[[ The following are merely constructive. Please don't hate me for it.]]] There are a lot of comma splices and run-ons. It doesn't really affect your plot that much, but correcting them helps for a better transition within your passages. Also, I appreciate wordiness rather than lack of detail. You did a good job in this aspect. Withal, I think it's just my preference that you elaborate more on the description of your sceneries? I want them to be more vivid, but you're already doing good so I won't ask for more. I'll be cheering you on. Fujodanshis unite! p.s. I'm waiting for *ahem* an action between the old married couple.