webnovel
mrmrcia
mrmrciaLv104yr
2020-06-25 12:18

I can pretty much say that the duo, Lan Tian and Wu Yun, is like an old couple who's attempting to learn how to navigate a smartphone for the first time. Wu Yun is an elegant rascal, while Lan Tian is such a straitlaced musclebrain. Their innocence during the fornication of the two humans in the river sent me, hahaha. Please let me hit Prince Qi, just once please. And I should never forget that they're doing this all for money. Freaking adorable that they took the longer way around to procure money. We love hardworking beauties. [[[ The following are merely constructive. Please don't hate me for it.]]] There are a lot of comma splices and run-ons. It doesn't really affect your plot that much, but correcting them helps for a better transition within your passages. Also, I appreciate wordiness rather than lack of detail. You did a good job in this aspect. Withal, I think it's just my preference that you elaborate more on the description of your sceneries? I want them to be more vivid, but you're already doing good so I won't ask for more. I'll be cheering you on. Fujodanshis unite! p.s. I'm waiting for *ahem* an action between the old married couple.

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies1
ThirtyTyrants
ThirtyTyrantsAuthor

Thanks for such a nice review! They definitely struggle a lot trying to make sense of the human world. It's super fun writing their more clueless scenes. Regarding more steamy scenes, they'll definitely make an appearance, and in an unexpected way very soon. 😏

Other Reviews
Jubysleua
JubysleuaLv10

I was fascinated by this novel from the beginning. The whole world is described with incredible detail and love, especially the sceneries, which are simply fantastic. You can easily imagine the most diverse situations and regions, despite how unrealistic they seem to be. Regarding the characters, I think the author has a unique trait since practically all of them (even those only mentioned in a few chapters) are valued and have their traits and development. Although many are annoying or hateful, they've their role and relevance in the story, which makes everything even more interesting. Still on the same topic, I want to give special emphasis to the MC and ML. Their personalities are contrasting and all the interactions are funny. It's beautiful to see their development, despite all the differences, and how they go from "travel companions" to "lovers". About the plot, I think it develops at a steady pace. There aren't big time skips or situations prolonged by hundreds of chapters without development, which allows you to appreciate the evolution of the characters and makes it easier to understand all the mysteries surrounding their world. I don't have a problem with the writing. It's good enough to get a smooth and fluid reading and it's very clear that the author is trying to improve with each chapter. Not to mention that I don't have the right to judge someone's writing with my bad English. In short, the novel is excellent and by far one of my favorites. I recommend it to everyone who likes BL and Xianxia. Besides, the author is very friendly and always interacts with his readers in the comments, which always encourages me to comment again.

Related Stories

My Mage System (BL)

He had been the best assassin of all time in his world and when he was finally killed, a goddess took the opportunity to send his soul into the body of a boy in another world who was weak for now but who was destined to become the most powerful mage of this world. This young boy was called Kevin and he decided to take his identity as he had kept his memories. The only thing he had in common with him was that they were both orphans, but Kevin had a weak mind and a weak body, in short, everything he hated the most. After successfully entering the Sun Sect as a mage, he managed to open the book Kevin had inherited from his parents and which he had been unable to open. What was his surprise when he realized that this book had turned into a System that allowed him to level up like in the virtual reality games he used to play in his home world. With the help of this System he will fufill his wish, he will become the most powerful humans of this world, not even shapeshifters or demons will be able to do anything to him. ………… Kevin turned his head towards him and seeing that he was still naked he said, looking away again : "Get dressed first, then we'll talk." Axel found some clothes that looked loose and put them on right away, he also took a pair of daggers whose blades were just a little shorter than his forearms, and he then approached Kevin and hugged him from behind. Kevin let him doing whatever he wanted, even though one of his daggers was now very close to his throat, Axel said to him close to his ear : "I want to trust you Kevin, so give me a good reason to." Kevin then asked him : "What do you want to know ?" Axel sighed, threatening Kevin with his own daggers won't do him any good, and he risked breaking the bond they were just making. He then took a decision and planted the two daggers in the ground in front of them, he ran his hands under Kevin's sweater and circled his waist with them, pressing him more against him. Kevin hadn't expected this turn of event and he felt his heartbeat quicken. Axel's hands were warm and he could feel his huge erection against him, one thing was sure, it was that he didn't let him indifferent. …………. WARNING this is not a slowburn romance and it's a R18 BL novel with lots spicy scenes so if you like reading 100 chapters before the mc and ml kiss for the first time just skip this story it's definitely not for you Otherwise, follow the adventures of our two heroes, if you love worlds filled with mysterious creatures, magic, fights, dungeons, a System that allows you to level up quickly, and a unique and powerful love story then this story is for you. ……………. If you like this story give a try to my other novels : The Divine Mage System The Celestial Phoenix and His Guardian (BL) Reincarnated to save the universe (GL/BL) New Update : Sunday/Monday/Wednesday/Friday/Saturday Enjoy your reading time and don’t forget to vote, to comment, and to review :)  

CeliaNaya · LGBT+
4.8
710 Chs

Villain Saving System (BL)

Due to the increasing cases of suicide in the country, the government created a simulator system that was linked with human’s brainwaves, bringing them to transmigrate into thousands of worlds and experienced many aspect of life in order to stimulate the will of living. Only when the willmeter was filled 100% could they finally return back to life. Lu Yizhou. Male. Single. 22 years old. On a certain day, he committed suicide by burying himself in the land of snow. And then, he was pulled into the simulator. 666: Welcome, host! Congratulations, you’re the 666th person who joined this project! Host is very lucky to get 666, because 666 is the handsomest, most sensible and most wonderful system! Lu Yizhou: …Can I change the system? You’re noisy. 666: QAQ Lu Yizhou: No matter how many times I transmigrate, my willmeter will not be filled. 666: N—No, don’t give up! Host shouldn’t give up QAQ uwaaa, don’t leave 666 alone! You’re my first, my one and only, how can you be so heartless and leave me behind like this?! Lu Yizhou: …why does it sound wrong? . . . Thus, he started to jump from one world to another to save the villain. Lu Yizhou: Why do I have to save the villains? 666: Ckckck, Host you’re too innocent! Of course, it’s because they are more awesome than the male lead; richer, powerful, resourceful, domineering and handsome! Lu Yizhou: …it’s only your preferences, is it? 666: Host, why don’t you believe 666?! QAQ . . . He thought that he had nothing left to live for. Bringing with him a weary heart and numb body, he sank to the bottom of the abyss only to find…a shining star. ******* Beautiful, stoic, dense and unexpectedly naive gong x possessive, spoilt and scheming shou who knew how to use his charm Additional tags: quick transmigration, fantasy, adventure, comedy, dark, mystery, tragedy, fast paced, seme/gong/top protagonist, love interest fall in love first, yaoi, mature, suicide thoughts, past play a big part, 1 vs 1 Find me on: Instagram: delanasiwarka Discord server: bit.ly/delanadiscord Discord: delanasiwarka#1490

delanasiwarka · LGBT+
4.9
770 Chs

I TURNED GAY AFTER A DRUNKEN NIGHT

“What's done is done! Let's just forget it!” He said and acted nonchalantly, even though he was cowering in fear because something was telling him that the stranger in front of him didn't intend to let go. The man's frown increases and Hayden swears that the temperature in the room increases multiple times. After winning over his heart and stealing his first, this boy wanted to avoid responsibility, which made Zenos annoyed. “You want to run away from me?” He asked in annoyance, and suddenly Hayden found himself under the man without even knowing how. “I'm just…” Hayden wasn't able to finish his words before he was domineeringly kissed by the stranger. Zenos used his left hand to pin Hayden's hand on top of Hayden's head effortlessly. Hayden tried to struggle and blocked the stranger's tongue from dominating his mouth by pressing his lips against each other stubbornly, but the man unexpectedly bit Hayden's bottom lips, making Hayden yelp in pain. The man used that chance to clean all the taste of strawberries in Hayden's mouth, while his right hand continued to stroke Hayden's body wantonly. When Hayden was starting to go dizzy due to shortness of breath, he was released by the man's assault. He breathed in and out rapidly and thanked heaven for the chance to live again. “You can't run away from me… You are mine” Zenos growled into Hayden's neck possessively. Hayden felt a shiver run through his spine after hearing the stranger's words. His breath hitched as the man licked his earlobe and kissed his neck with extreme familiarity, domineeringly. “Mine,” the stranger proclaimed again. The stranger gave a low curse word and rolled off Hayden's shivering sensitive body, “I'll spare you because you're still in pain. You won't be as lucky next time” he said and lifted Hayden's chin to peck him one more time while Hayden stared dumbfounded. Cover isn't mine, found online My new bl novel is out: The Journey Of Chasing After The Transmigrated Straight Shou

Rosel.ly · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
283 Chs