Review Detail of MokouFriedChicken in Alive: Dream World (ON PAUSE)

Curious. There're some in inconsistencies in terms of word usage. Fairly minor considering it didn't really bother me, but another read through would fix it, no problem. Story wise, it all flows rather smoothly, though in my opinion, there're some parts that felt a bit stiff. Perhaps some metaphor or similes could be used for that. Otherwise, it's all good and would read again. Keep on writing 👍