Review Detail of NotUse in Alive: Dream World (ON PAUSE)

Let's start with the negatives and I hope this part isn't too harsh. The tense shifts often from past to present and present to past. It may be hard to edit but with perseverance and patience, you'll surely be able to fix those mistakes. There were also times when I noticed some errors. This can be fixed with proofreading or by hiring an editor but if you are aspiring to become a great author then I suggest that you proofread instead of hiring an editor since in this way you can improve your mistakes. Here are some of the mistakes I noticed: -There was this paragraph when it said, "The girls was shocked, but they called the physician immediately and helped me lie in bed." If you were to correct this sentence, it should be, "The girls were shocked..." since was is used for singular and were for plural. -As for the word "onward" I noticed that most people add an s to the end so it ends up being "onwards" I noticed this in your novel too and wanted to tell you that there is no s. When it comes to the descriptions, it was not vivid as first. I was planning to rate the category a four-star but I made the decision not to after reading the next chapters. The first chapter lacked description such as the paragraph that stated, "I never imagined myself wearing this fancy outfit for breakfast." perhaps you could describe more about this outfit such as the color, the texture, and other qualitative words. When reading the next chapter, the descriptions improved which is a positive thing hence the category will be rated with five stars. For the main plot, I only have a few problems. One is that the physician told them that he couldn't figure out why Laurana lost her memories and it turned out the maids were fine with this. If I was a maid in that exact situation and the doctor told me that he couldn't figure out why the princess lost her memory then I'd be panicking or worried for Laurana unless losing memories is a typical thing in the world in which Laurana was reincarnated into. (Forgot the spelling of the place hehe.) There are also a lot of comma misuse, perhaps you can check them out. Some are periods which must be replaced to commas and others are commas which must be replaced to periods. In some dialogues, there were times when a period was used instead of a comma. I will give an example when to use a comma at the very end of a dialogue. Ex: "Be nice." he said. It should be, "Be nice," he said. The last negative is the perspective or point of view. There were times when it seemed third person and times when it was first-person. This could be fixed with proofreading but it will take time. Though, it has a lot of advantages since it can help improve your writing quality. Here are the positives! One thing I like about the book are the names of the characters. They are very catchy and attention-grabbing. The names of the places are also unique wherein the majority of it is extremely hard to spell for me. Text block is great and I like how the romance slowly builds up. Also, it reminds me of the Princess Diaries. I suggest that you watch it in case you haven't. The paragraphs are not that lengthy and not that short either. As for the stability of updates, this is always an automatic five for me since I always prefer quality over quantity. Don't get pressured and always take some breaks once in a while. I think I had mentioned this already but I'll just mention it again. The descriptions drastically improved as I read further. I would like to compliment the author for this! Great job! The pace is smooth, nothing seemed rushed or hastened and it didn't seem slow either. Character Design, definitely a five since there was a chapter explaining all the looks of the characters and their ages alongside their specialties and personalities. Famous genres calls for cliches and I noticed there were minimal cliches here and the author added his or her own twists to the story which is excellent. Cliches are entirely not bad too but people prefer to get sleepy when they see the same situation happening in a novel they recently read. Still, like what I said, the cliches here are minimal and for the readers who are reading this, this book definitely deserves a try. This is all and I wish the author the very best! I hope this review wasn't too harsh (not really trying to be harsh) and I wrote it at the best way possible. Hopefully you'll gain more readers and collections. Keep reading to hone your writing skills and if there is anything difficult to understand you can check for tips in YouTube and Google. I noticed you were a Filipino too and if I may suggest, there is this page entitled : "Team Lyqa: Civil Service Review" in Facebook. She teaches a lot about grammar and vocabularies, perhaps you would like to watch some of her videos. Anyway, best wishes to the author and keep on writing!