Item: My Husband is a gamer
Rating: 3.6
Author: EIo_Police

EIo_PoliceLv154yr

2020-06-22 21:51

You have a lot of points that need to be addressed. 1. Edit your work, smaller paragraphs are easier to read. 2. Personal speech, the way you currently handle things related to people speaking is very confusing and not reader friendly. Adding personal speech is really easy by marking what was said with "blablabla". Read popular novels and look how they structure interaction of characters. 3. Just in the first 2 chapters alone their are so many things wrong with logical thinking and game related stuff. For example, no one stays in a guild just because the guild leader says so, only idiots do that. Or losing all Equipment and having to start from lvl 1 again, players don't have those powers ingame even gm's can't just take your equipment and reset your lvl. There's so much wrong with just the first 2 chapters. Good luck

My Husband is a gamer

Silvertheace

Not enough ratings

31 Chs

Liked by 3 people

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lordkcLv12

Really nice story but I think you should have an editor, not that the writing has any mistakes but some punctuation's can really help increase the reading experience. It's difficult reading without those.

4yr

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Hey Webnovelist! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email kenreview@outlook.com We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!

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