Review Detail of eccentricbeing18 in An Unfortunate Nobody's (Forced) Adventure

eccentricbeing18:First, stop breaking the 4th wall, it actually sounds more like someone who's talking to himself than like what deadpool does. Second, give the mc autonomy in his life otherwise anything he does or did will be meaningless if some ROB can just fuxk it away. Third, give him some drive, an endgame. It could be peace in a home like a kingdom/planet or something he wants that satisfy his desire. Fourth, don't give him a badass background if he acts like an idiot worse than Jaune cause Jaune at least have the excuse of being weak and inexperienced. and face it, most people in this app will shit you up to kingdom come if the mc is weak, nerfed, naive or basically a sheep. Fifth, stop the random shit and organize the events. Plan it out. Random things is enjoyable if it's like the school events in Code Geass or comic reliefs in isolated matters after a heavy plot, just don't randomize the main storyline. If you some randomness, put it in the mc's power or weapon just like Rick's inventions in rick and morty. Sixth, don't give special care to the main cast. You'll either be a hypocrite for letting them off if they do anything or a coward for sticking with the timeline like some shit authors does. Honestly, why write a fanfic if you just follow the main storyline like some sheep. If you're too scared to fuxk the timeline then you're not worthy of the wishes. Seventh, Gender equality. If you kill men with a particular reason, why not the women too. In the real world, having mercy to your enemy gets a loved one dead. If that doesn't happen it's already plot armor. Ps vegeta is a special case cause he actually wants somewhere to call home and be near with the last saiyan he knew who got he's respect (and he's a tsundere). Eight, give your mc some self respect. Refer to your rwby arc. Fuxking pathetic. Ninth, establish somekind of economics. Are you seriously using the multiverse without an easy route to get fuxking resources that is plenty af. Imagine eating gourmet hot food in westeros, riding a tron motorcycle in kaer morhen, flying hanging garden of babylon (rigged with photon canons and guarded by gundams) in rwby, or having a toilet that magically transports feces on Voldemort's head. Tenth, go to worlds with significant purpose. Vampire diaries have an immortality spell that will make you more powerful with age (it has some kinks but the premise is op) and a spell that can actually make a dimension with no actual limitations. harry potter has an actual magic core (basically a perpetual energy made of magic and it's only limit is the strength of your body to conduct it). Gate of Babylon that has every treasure that ever was and will be with it's bullshit reasons. avatar with energy bending with it's giving and taking cosmic power etc. Last, introduce something a world lacks to get what you want cause you're mc probably has it. Westeros wants modern things you take valuable resources they don't know the value with like rare metals with no combat use to them. Rwby wants magic energy bend them to use an element in exchange for dust and technology. Highschool of the dead main cast (girls only) wants a safe place, you want combat maids that you made powerful yourself thereby indebted to you. Avengers wants thanos dead, you want his infinity stones. yokai from the dxd world wants protection from other factions, you want yasaka as your wife. If shinto gods wants to interfere, flip them off and hakai them (from dbs) Equivalent exchange.

eccentricbeing18:First, stop breaking the 4th wall, it actually sounds more like someone who's talking to himself than like what deadpool does. Second, give the mc autonomy in his life otherwise anything he does or did will be meaningless if some ROB can just fuxk it away. Third, give him some drive, an endgame. It could be peace in a home like a kingdom/planet or something he wants that satisfy his desire. Fourth, don't give him a badass background if he acts like an idiot worse than Jaune cause Jaune at least have the excuse of being weak and inexperienced. and face it, most people in this app will shit you up to kingdom come if the mc is weak, nerfed, naive or basically a sheep. Fifth, stop the random shit and organize the events. Plan it out. Random things is enjoyable if it's like the school events in Code Geass or comic reliefs in isolated matters after a heavy plot, just don't randomize the main storyline. If you some randomness, put it in the mc's power or weapon just like Rick's inventions in rick and morty. Sixth, don't give special care to the main cast. You'll either be a hypocrite for letting them off if they do anything or a coward for sticking with the timeline like some shit authors does. Honestly, why write a fanfic if you just follow the main storyline like some sheep. If you're too scared to fuxk the timeline then you're not worthy of the wishes. Seventh, Gender equality. If you kill men with a particular reason, why not the women too. In the real world, having mercy to your enemy gets a loved one dead. If that doesn't happen it's already plot armor. Ps vegeta is a special case cause he actually wants somewhere to call home and be near with the last saiyan he knew who got he's respect (and he's a tsundere). Eight, give your mc some self respect. Refer to your rwby arc. Fuxking pathetic. Ninth, establish somekind of economics. Are you seriously using the multiverse without an easy route to get fuxking resources that is plenty af. Imagine eating gourmet hot food in westeros, riding a tron motorcycle in kaer morhen, flying hanging garden of babylon (rigged with photon canons and guarded by gundams) in rwby, or having a toilet that magically transports feces on Voldemort's head. Tenth, go to worlds with significant purpose. Vampire diaries have an immortality spell that will make you more powerful with age (it has some kinks but the premise is op) and a spell that can actually make a dimension with no actual limitations. harry potter has an actual magic core (basically a perpetual energy made of magic and it's only limit is the strength of your body to conduct it). Gate of Babylon that has every treasure that ever was and will be with it's bullshit reasons. avatar with energy bending with it's giving and taking cosmic power etc. Last, introduce something a world lacks to get what you want cause you're mc probably has it. Westeros wants modern things you take valuable resources they don't know the value with like rare metals with no combat use to them. Rwby wants magic energy bend them to use an element in exchange for dust and technology. Highschool of the dead main cast (girls only) wants a safe place, you want combat maids that you made powerful yourself thereby indebted to you. Avengers wants thanos dead, you want his infinity stones. yokai from the dxd world wants protection from other factions, you want yasaka as your wife. If shinto gods wants to interfere, flip them off and hakai them (from dbs) Equivalent exchange.

Justheguy:Okay. Feedback recieved...