Review Detail of yiyuehua in The 4 O' Clock Club

I like the idea of the character POV swaps. It's interesting to see the situation of both characters, but I do find myself a little lost sometimes. I like that the story is straightforward thus far. I'm looking forward to see how the plot will unfold! As for the writing quality, there are a bit of awkward sentences and narratives inserts, but I don't see anything pressing grammar-wise. Good job!