Review Detail of mrmrcia in Zephyria

The setting for Zephyria reminded me of Laputa. It's a rather interesting setting for this story. Hikari is such a laidback, shounen manga ML-like character and Gale is on the competitive side of the spectrum. The premise of the story was well established, so it became an easy read! This is a really good read and I would like to subscribe to see the escapades of the star knights as a whole! Please continue writing! You are a very creative writer: :) In terms of the technicalities in writing, I don't really mind if it's purposefully awkward. However, outside of the parenthesis (which I presumed are your comments) there are some sentences that confuses me on whether this is in first-person or third-person. There are also some grammatical errors, but those are things that you can easily proofread. I suggest that you go over your draft before publishing because there are some evident, accidental mistakes. I'm sorry for my long review! These are merely constructive criticisms. I did not write it out of spite :)