Review Detail of Kileks in Monster Hunter: Wyvern's Wrath

I intend this Fan-Fic to be practice so that when I move into writing my own original novels, I don't have to suck so bad. XD Tell me how you feel about it and where I can improve. As long as it's constructive and helps me as a writer, I can take it all. Feel free to comment on any potential monsters you may want the MC to fight in the future. As long as I can fit it into the lore of the Monster Hunter Universe. It works.