Review Detail of DyMoonRvs in Evin [Dropped, Going to Rewrite]

Thank you for the criticism! If possible, could you give me pointers on how I could improve in that aspect? Or perhaps recommend me some novels that are great in that way, so I could learn from them? I’m writing for fun, so my first story is most likely lacking in many ways. I’d like to learn more on this, if I can. Ah, but if it’s too much trouble for you, it’s fine if you don’t reply. I’ll take this into account and learn more before updating the next chapter, though I’m not sure if I can improve on that so quickly. I might rewrite this whole story once I’m done and I’ll probably put what you said in my mind more to make this story better. Umm, anyways, thank you for the feedback! Have a great day ahead🤗 Stay safe and healthy!