Review Detail of MehDontCare in The Guild System (Hiatus)

Review detail


I'm surprised the story doesn't have more views / reviews since it seems to be right up the alley of a lot of readers on WN. Its well paced, not too short and not too long, the grammar is good and the story flows nicely and it doesn't deviate from the plot (so far) like others stories in the genre do. With all that said however there's a few personal negatives that I do wish to address: 1. While I understand why we can't get answers too soon as to why the MC is so disconnected from the world around him (little to no remorse for what happens to living beings around him) it still feels cheap to have the System keep information away from us, the readers. Giving us hints here and there so that we can think what the reason is would invest us even more into the story. 2. The way the game portion is introduced is rather lackluster, more specifically, the player's. Even though this is a novel, if you are going to write about having beta testers in a game, having only 20 is not something any game (mmo) has or would ever do. On top of that, we're talking about "players" here, I'm sure you know how the absolute majority would act during a beta. Everyone would look for ways to break the game in some shape or form, would troll other players, grief and so on. The fact that they just follow the story like they're playing a singleplayer game is very unnatural. You could have expanded more on this to give a better understanding why they're acting in such a manner. 3. The non-player guildies are rather quick to accept messages appearing in their minds and video's being displayed on front of them. When the first ever movie was shown to an audience in a cinema, pandemonium broke out as people thought the train on the screen was coming at them and they would die. Your non-player humans act way too calm. And I know that there's magic in this world, but that hasn't been explored too much (in fact, barely even touched), so we as readers have no idea if these humans are so calm because they think its magic (this being common knowledge) or for some other reason. These are my gripes with the story so far. Like I said, its a good story and it definately deserves more views. Keep up the good work.


The Guild System (Hiatus)


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