Review Detail of Snowin in Being reincarnated into a fantasy world was supposed to be fun

Since there is only one chapter, this review could mean nothing and should be taken with a grain of salt as I too, am just an a m a t e u r writer. First off, I don't understand who is narrating and what person (2/nd and 3/rd) the story is being told in. The starting paragraph doesn't really captivate the reader too much, and it shows a lack of effort put into it. (What I'm saying is — it sounds like the story is beginning with someone just telling the story at a dinner table or something. Grammar is alright and nothing that's unreadable or anything, so that's nice. I however, can't get a picture in my head of what I'm witnessing here. There are no descriptions of anyone basically, and no real location I can imagine. Yes, he was in a bar, but where is he now? The street? The bar? The bathroom? I don't know. This is a comedy, as clearly labeled by the author. And there is a lot of cussing. So if you like curse words and immaturity this might be a very well read for you. (Not my cup of tea personally) I'm also not very used to seeing names followed by a ":" and then they talk. It makes the dialogue bland and lacks emphasis. The story has potential if it's consistent and appeals to a certain audience other than myself. Once again, I personally don't read Harem/Comedy/System, so this review can mean nothing to you. It's just some of my thoughts with an unbiased rating. Keep writing and improving! Cuz that's what writing is about!