Review Detail of Dann_Giovanni in Gambit of the Living Weapon

Gambit of the Living Weapon is a book of fiction by Breno_Ranyere. Personally, I love the main character and the fact the weapon the protagonist has is a crossbow rather than some enchanting sword or anything similar to this. The other characters are lovable, one that would make readers remember their name even if the book is finished. I've two major flaws that I've found while reading this book, scenes and punctuation. i'm not going to judge your grammar anymore since it's good. The basic principles and fundamentals, I could see that they're followed. Alright, the scenes! When it comes to this part, there were times when my excitement was building up then suddenly the action ends right away. It's a bit too fast if you were to ask me. As for the emotions, I would suggest that you add more feelings rather than using adjectives but don't overdo them. For the descriptions, the best advice I could give you is to add more emotions and actions to prolong it. I will give an example: Quietude succumbed to his mind, draining every emotion. Yes, descriptive, but we could add more emotions and descriptions to this. "Once the quietness arrived, it stayed and spread in Estha. It reached out of his head and enfolded him in its swampy arms…sent its stealthy, suckered tentacles inching along the insides of his skull, hoovering the knolls and dells of his memory, dislodging old sentences, whisking them off the tip of his tongue" A little warning though, only use it during important scenes such as the action because too much will consider your book as "overdescriptive" Next, the punctuation. Punctuation is one thing authors must learn about since it helps when it comes to telling the readers when to pause or how to read that particular sentence. Try reading these sentences: As promised I will give back your money. As promised, I will give back your money. The second sentence has a comma! When one would read the first, they would go straight out without pausing. When one would read the second, there would be a slight pause after the word promise. I know learning punctuation is a difficult task, trust me, I've been there. If I can, you can too! I'll be rooting for you! Overall, it's great! All the author has to improve on is his punctuation and scenes.