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JudyWayne
JudyWayneLv34yr
2020-12-07 09:04

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Other Reviews
IDK667
IDK667Lv4
danyestibaliz
danyestibalizLv11

The idea behind this story is interesting and I really like it. A regular female from the modern world gets transported to a primitive beastmen society. The problem with this story is *how* it’s written. The author is a lazy writer who doesn’t develop the characters or plot well. There are many inconsistencies throughout it. Ive read almost 500 chapters of this 1,600+ chapter story and it’s still missing basic background information on the characters and the plot. Either that, or it only gives information at a later time than it should. 1.) plot holes. There are many times when the author mentions something at the beginning of the story then contradicts themselves in later chapters. The story reads like it was written without the author revisiting previously written information. As if the story were published as a draft that had never been read at all. The story also fails to give important information early on. A large portion of story takes place in/references the City of Beasts yet we only learn about the history of the city about *300 chapters* in. Same goes for the city’s cultural norms, government, crime and justice system, economy... all this useful information isn’t seen towards the beginning of the story. which is where it should be. The story’s characters are described as having western features yet they follow Asian beauty standards... this doesn’t make sense. Freckles are considered ugly when that’s a common western feature. Also, qingqing is described as having skin white as snow and no one in the city (apart from the ape king) has seen a light-skinned female yet they praise her skin color for being beautiful when it would be more accurate for her skin color to be seen as sickly or strange. People also praise her beauty yet no one looks like her. Since they’ve never seen someone with qingqing’s face before, it would be more accurate for them to think she looks odd rather than beautiful. plus females are expected to have fuller figures because beastmen believe fuller females are more fertile yet qingqing’s also praised for being thin. Once again, it’d be more accurate for her thin figure to *only* be seen as weak or infertile. However, the same people who say she’s too thin still tell her she’s incredibly beautiful because of her thin figure and this contradiction doesn’t make sense. 2.) The main problem with the author’s characterization is that the author doesn’t *show* how a character acts but rather *tells* us how a character acts. // spoiler alert // qingqing’s character is described as “a regular high school student” yet she has abilities far beyond what a regular high school student would have. •she can remember recipes from cooking shows that she only watched *one* time, despite the beginning of the story saying she’s not much of a cook. Every single one her meals comes out perfectly the *first* time she makes them even though she’s unsure of the cooking process. •the author tries to make her seem like a filial daughter but qingqing NEVER had a breakdown moment where she missed her family. At all. She mentions her family members approximately five times total within these 500 chapters and that’s it. It’s weird for a 16yo child to not think of their parents when they’re tossed into a completely new world and lost their old life. qingqing states that adoptive parents could never love children like biological parents; a child with a conservative mindset like this should *especially* be worried about her life back home with her parents but she isn’t. •qingqing occasionally recalls watching animal programs after she’s lived in this beastmen world for a while but how come she *never* mentions this at the beginning of the story? (Part one)

AlleyCatSunflower
AlleyCatSunflowerLv1

I really like the idea behind this story, but that's as much credit as I can give it. Bai Qingqing reads like a textbook Mary Sue, mostly because the author repeatedly insists that she's "just an ordinary high-school girl" despite giving her knowledge and skills (e.g. wine-making) that literally no ordinary high-schooler should have. She has NO character development, mostly due to the fact that the story is arranged so that every one of her plans works flawlessly the first time and she therefore has no legitimate learning experiences to further her growth as a person. Some of the logic is just incredible, like her saying that because her family had a dog, she therefore knows how to care for leopard cubs. (This dog, by the way, is not mentioned until that point. She may as well not have had a past at all before she was dropped into this world.) Most annoying of all, the author pulls out all the stops to tell us what a ~*good person*~ Qingqing is at every turn, despite consistently portraying her as as self-centered and judgmental. Hasn't the author ever heard of showing and not telling? If I have to read one more paragraph about how Qingqing's skin is still white as snow a year after the story begins, even though she's been living out in the wild and spending a significant amount of time outdoors for quite some time by the current point, I'm going to lose it. And all the issues with Qingqing aren't even getting into the two male leads. I keep reading comments and reviews saying how hot they are and I honestly have to say I'm appalled. They have both threatened Qingqing with physical harm. One of them abducts her. One of them LITERALLY RAPES HER. At no point does she question whether she should actually be letting them do any of this, especially since in this universe, she's the one who's supposedly in control of the relationship! And to top it off, when encountering males who are actually well-behaved and offer themselves to her, she rejects them out of hand with absolutely no second thoughts and compares them *unfavorably* to her abusive mates. Like, are you kidding me? People who legitimately think that the leads' kind of behavior is forgivable just because they're "hot" are frankly brain-dead. Finally, throughout the story, the author imposes their own (East Asian) beauty standards on the (implied Western-ish) culture of this fictional world. Qingqing's slenderness is somehow supposed to be attractive despite the fact that people in-universe also call it out as unhealthy. (Also, she somehow has D cups despite being sixteen and skinny, and that just rubs me the wrong way on a whole nother level.) Freckles are allegedly ugly, too, despite often being considered attractive in Western society. The author is also incredibly colorist and basically uses any skin darker than Qingqing's as a reason why everyone else is less pretty than her. It's just bizarre how this author created an entire universe only to have little enough imagination that they can't even think about different beauty standards from the ones they're used to. TL;DR: I genuinely *want* to like this story because the universe is so promising, but I just… can't. Nor can I even recommend this to anyone but the most dedicated fanfiction authors doing research, because it takes so much effort to get through and retain your sanity. Let me know if you write anything for it. I guarantee it'll be better than the source material.

ealdgyth
ealdgythLv14
Yasmine_Ennaji
Yasmine_EnnajiLv2
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