Review Detail of MokouFriedChicken in The Great Wizard and the Archmage

Since you gave me your honest opinions, I suppose I'll return the favor to the best of my ability. First up, the dialogue. While I appreciate a lot of back and forth between the characters, it's detrimental when said dialogue can sometimes occupy a whole text block with no prose, descriptions, or breaks in between. No matter how good a conversation is, it'll falter without the spice that descriptors and good prose can provide. Perhaps you should invest a bit more in describing the scene. Like what're they doing while talking? What's their cadence? Their tone? Do they have a physical action like a handwaive while describing something? Something along these lines would spice up what's already there. Next, grammar. It could use a bit of work. Unnecessary spaces and lack of spaces on some places can clutter up the dialogue and prose, as well as a lack of proper capitalization on proper nouns. It'll make your stuff clearer to visualize when you use proper punctuations like apostrophes in some places. That's it I guess. Don't let this deter you from writing, use it as improvement and move on to greater heights (^^)